Is Becoming a Stay at Home Mom the Right Decision? by Kimberly Danger

If you’re a working mom, chances are you’ve fantasized about staying home with your kids full-time.  No schlepping kids to daycare, no deadlines, and you can stay in your pajamas all day if you want to.  Sounds great, huh?   As any stay at home mom will attest: It ain’t easy, Sweetheart.   Before you take the big leap to becoming an at-home parent, make sure you look at this from all angles:  the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Be realistic. Staying at home isn’t easy.  There are many drawbacks to staying home that every woman should consider before quitting her job.

Financial stress Quitting your job undoubtedly means less money for your household.   What will this do to your style of living?  For some women it may mean giving up their vacation to Maui, for others it means worrying about how the mortgage will get paid.  You should carefully go over your budget and make sure you will be able to live on one income.  This isn’t to say you have to maintain your current lifestyle, either.  Are you willing to give up certain things to stay at home, such as new clothes and eating out?  Will you be disappointed if you can’t buy that new sofa for your living room this year?  The more you are willing to make these trade-offs to stay home, the less stress you will experience by having less money.

Loneliness Being at home often means cutting yourself off from your friends and adult conversation.  People differ in their need for social contact.  Some women are happy to go all day without speaking to another adult, other moms would go crazy.  What type are you?  If you are the type that needs lots of social stimulation, do you have a support network of other stay at home moms on whom you can rely?  How will you maintain the level of adult interaction you desire?  Are there playgroups or classes in your area that will provide you with social contacts?

Sense of self How much of your identity comes from your job?  How will you define yourself as a stay at home mother?  Some women go through an identity crisis when they no longer are able to say “I am a nurse,” or “I am an attorney,” etc.  Is being a wife and mom enough for you to feel fulfilled as an individual?

With that said, let’s talk about the positive aspects of staying home.  It goes without saying that most women would rather be spending time with their kids and family than spending time at the office.  Stay at home mothers often get to know their children better because of the sheer amount of time spent with them. They can also offer their kids a sense of stability and security that is more difficult to achieve when working full-time.  Stay at home moms also often report they feel less stressed, more at peace with themselves, and often times more fulfilled.

No regrets. How many of us really think that when we look back on our lives, we will say, “I wish I had worked more when my children were little.”   Of all the stay at home moms I’ve talked to, none of them have said they regret their decision to stay home.  Although most do acknowledge that staying home isn’t easy, they wouldn’t want to change their current situation.  These are times that you will never be able to get back.  Mothers with full-time jobs often see their children less than their daycare provider does.  What does it mean to you that you may not may not be there for your child’s first steps, first words, or first fall off a bike?

You CAN make it work. Too many women don’t realize that staying home may be easier on them financially than they think.  When my husband and I were first married, things were tough financially.  We both needed to work full-time to pay our most basic expenses, such as grocery bills and the rent.  We got into the frame of mind that two full-time workers in our household was necessary, even after six years of marriage and a few jobs later.  When we learned we were expecting our first child, we really didn’t think staying home was an option.  Once we really sat down and crunched the numbers, things were better than we thought.  Make sure you really know your financial situation before assuming you can’t make it work.  Read the article The Cost of Work to give yourself another view of what your income really is.

All or nothing? Many women feel that they either have to work full time or not at all.  For many stay at home moms, this isn’t the case.  Supplementing their household incomes with part-time jobs has become commonplace, and can both alleviate financial stress and also give moms a better sense of self.  You may not be sure what type of part-time work you will do now, but  opportunities may present themselves after you have been staying home for a little while.  Being home may allow you to explore your real talents and interests, creating opportunities to use your skills to make money.

Trading the pressures of work for the stress of being with kids all day isn’t a decision you should take lightly.  Make sure you know how staying home will affect your life, both positively and negatively.  After you’ve gathered as much information as possible, you’ll be able to make an informed decision that is right for you and your family.  Don’t let anyone else decide for you, only you know what is best for you and your family.  If staying home is your goal, find a way to make it work.  It is a decision you will probably never regret, and a great gift to give your family and yourself.

36 Responses to Is Becoming a Stay at Home Mom the Right Decision? by Kimberly Danger

  1. Emily says:

    I’ve actually had the opportunity to be a working mom and a stay at home mom and I DEFINITELY preferred working a bit. It builds my self confidence and my children are extremely social because of having to go outside of the home for care. Quality of time is more important than quantity anyways =)

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  3. VERONICA says:

    I have spent over a decade in the professional field with the last 2 reporting to the President of the company. I now have two children under 2 and less than a year apart. I thought my job was stressful as an HR executive, but the stress just changes when you become a mom. And frankly, I think it’s harder being a stay-at-home mom. 60 hour workweek with the weekends off vs. 90+ hour work week. A paycheck that quantifiably shows the world, including your spouse how valuable your work is vs. an intangible value that sometimes even the best spouse in the world doesn’t totally get it. Why? Because the see past the perk of wearing pjs on occassion. When you get giddy because you get an hour to yourself to take a bath and you spend it wondering if you are doing enough for those you care about most and then feel guilty that you just want a night feeling and looking like some sexy woman than the one wearing her spit-up decorated t-shirts and her hair in a ponytail so the kids don’t pull your hair out–or worse..so you don’t either!

    • tara says:

      Well put! Love it

      • SAHM says:

        I agree with the other comment, Very well said! Physiologically, the world and sometimes your spouse may not see your job as worthy.There is no tangible quantifiable pay check showing the world and your spouse how valubale your work is. This is so true, and especially my friends without kids just don’t get it; and sometimes, I have to remind my hubby of this, who only after 2 hours of staying home ALONE with a crying baby understands and says, “how can you do this?” jokingly… but really it is rewarding but “it aint easy”.

  4. Sacha says:

    I am a stay at home mom, yes it can be a little stressful but i wouldnt want to miss out on his first’s. I worked all my life and was so thankful to be able to stay home after i got pregnant! Why pay all that money for a stranger to raise your child if you dont have too? My son loves other kids even though he doesnt go to day care. I dont do it for the recigonition of other people, i do it for my son and i. I used to get giddy when i had an hour to myself but now my son is on a routine (bed by 8pm and sleeps till 8am) i have plenty of time for me, if i want to watch tv or read a book. Also oher than not working having a child didnt really change anything in my life, just now i have someone to hang out with and talk to… My son is only 7months old, i do have to say that being a sahm was the best decision if my life!!!

  5. sarah says:

    I’m a stay at home mum as much as i love my children i wish i hadnt given up my career, or atleast got a partime one day a week job…now they are at school its hard to find a job, not even a single interview for a retail assistant or christmas temp and i was a nurse before, have to retrain, do voluntary work (even the voluntary sector is fussy about interviewing their volunteers – just so they have the right candidate – so even volunteers may not get hired) build up my cv and if im lucky will get an interview. I think its good for the kids to spend atleast one day a week in daycare as it means that they can socialise and build up their confidence and learn to be slightly more independent of you. being a stay at home mum you can end up with depression, loneliness and low self esteem not to mention having to be dependant financially on your other half completely which again makes you feel rubbish. As rewarding as being a stay at home parent is, its only rewarding while your child is at home full time. when they are at school theres not much to do with your time when you are alone, and its also harder to get a job…many companys offer flexi time or reduced hours after maternity which will in majority of cases benefit long term as its a lot harder if not impossible to get a job after a career break…

  6. sarah says:

    Wow, well Im a stay at home mom who loves it. Our family needs both monetary and NON-monetary support. My marriage was taking a beating. Trying to cut back on the expense of daycare, (from two 40+ hour working adults) and have more time with our son, my husband and I had no days off together. Our son was only in daycare 3 days a week but for 10 hours a day. I would come home to worrying about housework while my brain wanted to worry about work. I was exhausted because of the outside 40 hours and upkeep of a home. We ate fast food frequently because I was too tired and it was too late to cook. Our budget was a mess because we buy more “stuff” when unhappy. Our house, despite one or the other being home more days than not, was always messy. Who wants to spend those precious days off cleaning all day? We were missing out on life due to stress. Being able to raise my son and not pay a stranger to do it… and have a hot meal ready when my husband gets home, a clean home, having a better stronger marriage….I wouldn’t trade the satisfaction of a happy family and solid homebase for anything material. Yes the day can still be a bad one, there is no cure for bad days….they happen to everyone. As far as “me time”…..I also, like the other poster, still have plenty of “me” time. But Im not unhappy at home, which may be what makes some women feel like they don’t have enough.

    • Siobhan says:

      Thank you -this was really helpful :)

    • Maranda says:

      Thanks for this response. I am currently in the same situation that you were in when you were working full-time, and I am about to hit my breaking point. Everything you said- about the marriage taking a beating, eating takeout all the time, the eternally messy house- is true for me too, and I think I am putting in my resignation soon. Thanks for letting me know it’s not just ME, but this happens to other two-income families too.

  7. NJMama says:

    I am dealing with this decision right now and it is so tough. I work in NYC and have one of those high pressure/12hr a day jobs and I am currently on maternity leave with baby #2.

    When I had my first baby I wanted to stay home and my husband insisted that I go back. Somehow I got in the groove of long days, seeing my daughter 2 1/2 hrs a day before she went to bed, crappy meals, messy house, always overwhelmed. Then I had #2 and I went on maternity leave and it all slowed down……and I saw what I was doing/ how we were living from a different perspective.

    I am really torn about what to do. My husband makes ok $ ($125K) but I am not sure that is enough for a family to live on in the NYC area……I on the other hand make more than him…..so I’d be leaving nearly $200K behind and I am not sure if that is a mistake or not. I hate being the breadwinner and it makes me angry that he is not motivated enough to make my paycheck and hustle harder ….

    I dunno…..my first daughter seems really happy, well-rounded, smart, and is so loving….and she went to daycare…..and is now in Kindergarten…….but I am always wondering if she would have had an even better life if I were there everyday……and I am questioning the continuance of this lifestyle……she’s still going to be home in the summers and after school and need homework help……..and then there is the new baby….do I repeat history?

    Sigh.

    • Tricia says:

      Wow. Thank you for your honesty! I felt your turmoil as I was reading your post. I feel sad for you that your husband won’t just stay home with your kids. $200K is a LOT to lose…so does your company value enough to let you work from home one day a week or leave early 2 times a week if you promise to do work after the kids go to bed? not ideal, but if your goal is to spend time with the kids, maybe your job has wiggle room? or staying at home one day a week and taking a slight pay cut? do you have family near by who could watch the kids? I know I felt better about working full time b/c my parents watched our children a few days a week…then the kids weren’t stuck in day care every day

  8. dingdang says:

    I was a full-time mom for a year (when my eldest turned two until she turned three). I decided to go back to work since I now have a baby number 2, and we got our own house to pay for (monthly amortization through Pag-Ibig). Like NJMama, I’m also at a loss right now. I’m a teacher by profession and I really like working with kids (and adults for that matter) so when I went back to working, I tried my luck in a call center (better pay than with the academe). I was a language specialist, and was promoted to senior specialist after 6 months. After almost a year of financial instability, now we’re able to buy our wants, rather than making ends meet and only buy or pay for our needs. But my eldest is already maturing. She’s turning 4 in January. My kids have two yayas, one for each. But oftentimes, when my eldest wakes up in the morning, she would say “Mommy, please skip work today?” or “Mommy, when our yayas get married, can you stay at home again? Let Daddy go to the office and you just stay here and take care of us?” The first time she said this, I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. If only circumstances were different, I would have prioritized my kids over my job and the pay I’m getting from my job. But life gets harder each year. I make up for “lost times” in the office when I get home. I don’t touch the computer, or read my books, or do housework when the kids are still awake. I dedicate waking night hours with my two kids. But hearing comments like these from my eldest really breaks my heart every now and then, that sometimes, I wish I should have married a wealthier guy (joke!) Any comment/help on this matter would greatly be appreciated.

  9. “Stay at home mothers get to know their children better”

    Wow, nice burn!

  10. Laura says:

    I think it is great that all of the people who posted here are willing to be candid about their feelings.

    I think that in an ideal world a mom should be allowed to follow her heart. If she would like to stay at home so be it, if she would like to work out of the home more power to her and if she wants some combination of those two that’s fine…whatever feels like it would lead to contentment on her part. Unfortunately…we don’t live in a perfect world, or even a partially perfect world (why is that?) and individuals may not have much of a choice in that decision. I agree with the poster who suggested some “wiggle room” ideas. Also, that you are able to weigh the pros and cons of working out of the home is nice; some people may not even feel that they have that option.

    I find two things are helpful for me as a mom when I’m in situation that I don’t like: if you can’t control a situation try to tweek the aspects you can control and expect to feel guilt no matter what choice you make. Being a mother and guilt seem to just go hand in hand, it’s one of the handicaps of being a mother or perhaps even a parent. Know that you will feel guilt and at the same time that you are not guilty. You are just trying to make an ideal decision in a less that perfect situation.

  11. Daniela says:

    This whole topic is just so frustrating to me. I opted out of the workforce (after a 15 year career post college) as I did not get married until I was 37 and then had a baby the following year. My husband travels 24×7 and my management job required travel plus long hours. There was no option for job sharing or reduced hours in my position and I decided it was time to stay at home.

    Fast forward 3 1/2 years -I’ve committed career suicide. No one will look at my resume and I am feeling like a complete failure. The society we live in definitely does not value SAHMs. Women are expected to have these super careers and be super mom. Those of us who decided to stay home (and are older to boot) are not in a good place. I treasure every moment I’ve had with my little one, but I fear for my future. It would have been easier to have been a nurse or teacher (etc.) but the business world is not an easy place to negotiate with.

  12. Nichole says:

    Thanks to everyone for sharing.
    I am a young SAHM of 3. Their ages are 2,4,& 7. I am so thankful to be able to stay at home with my children and be there for them at all times. Everything in my life is great, marriage,finances,etc…except feeling overwhelmed..I feel like I am running out of energy..I cant even go to the bathroom without being surrounded by little people..if I lock the door they are banging on..in the middle of the night Ifeel my 2 year old crawl between my husband and I..they constantly fight or want me right next to them 24/7..if they want/need something they never ask dad they always come to me..I love that my children and I have such a strong bond and I know it is because of me staying home, but I cannot get anything done at home!! I literally have to pay a babysitter so I can have a couple hours to clean. I feel that staying home isnt understood completely by my husband (who by the way is amazing) he says he understands, but I know in his mind he is thinking (YOU ARE HOME ALL DAY) I despise those words!! I feel like I need some time to myself but that doesnt always help me. So then I start thinking should I get a part time job? I am so torn and drained physically and mentally. I feel bad because I lose my patience sometimes..Is this normal??

    • Dalia says:

      Wow…..I feel you. I’m kind of in the same boat. I am a SAHM of 2 little girls, almost 4 and 2 and I am 7 months pregnant with our first boy. I love my girls to death but they drain me. The oldest has figured out how to unlock the bathroom from the outside using whatever she can find….a puzzle piece, a spoon, etc. I have to yell at her to leave mommy alone in the bathroom just so I can at least pee in peace….lol. Cleaning is tough….I know how you feel. It’s true that sometimes you have to have someone else over to play with the kids to get anything done. I hate it when my husband comes home and asks what I did all day….frustrates me so much. Just wanted to say you are not alone. I can totally understand how you feel. :)

  13. Sara says:

    I am a full time working mother of two (1 and 4) my husband is a police officer here in town and works all kinds of odd hours. he basically works a nine day rotation, six on three off and the first three working days are 3-11pm. those are the day the boys go to daycare, unless of course it lands on a weekend. the other three days are 7-3am and God bless him he gets up after going to bed at 330am and stays at home with the boys all day. It is not the daycare factor for us, because technically he is daddy daycare 75% of the time.

    But I have ALWAYS wanted to be a stay at home mom. and lately with some stresses popping up at work, I’m wondering if this is Gods way of telling me it’s time to re-evaluate, and if I’m ever going to stay home, now is the time to do it. It’s amazing what we would have to cut back on, but in my heart it would all be worth it. One of my boys cries everyday when I leave, the other asks me everyday if its the weekend and I get to stay home. Funny thing is it’s all the material things we’d have to give up. All the “extra” stuff in life that we enjoy now.

    My fear is that later in life, when they are in school, will I be able to find that “perfect” job that I can work and still be able to be home for the boys when they get home from school and be able to see them out the door…it doesn’t seem like much but we’d be giving up 1400.00+ a month in extra “fun” money. I would have no problem doing this, but a little guilt sets in when I think of the things my husband would have to give up as well. TV, Internet, he is an avid shooter so of course the purchasing of fire arms would slow down emencly. I have contemplated watching a couple kids here and there, but then think of the fact that if his days off are in the middle of the week, and we wanted to go somewhere or do something with the boys, I’d have to schedule around the kids. I’m stuck in this decision, my heart says go for it and LOVE every minute. My head/wallet say, don’t you really enjoy cable and the smart phone you have now? Every mother I have ever asked about this has said, yes its tough, but they wouldn’t have given it up for the world.

  14. Brenda says:

    Thank you for all the real life scenarios. This is really helping my decision.

    I recently found out that I am pregnant with my first. My husband and I will have to move from our current appartment to a larger place in the San Franscico bay area (not a cheap place to live). We’ve decided to buy a house and put our rent to work for us.

    This question of staying home came up when we found a house that we love but can only afford if we both work. Before someone asked me if I wanted to stay home, I really hadn’t given it much thought. Then, with our housing negotiations coming to a close I had to answer this question: Do I want to work? Or Do I want to stay home with my kids?

    The way my husband saw it was: I can stay home, we’d live in a smaller place (with less room to escape too for everyone), I would, from time to time be resentful toward him about something (like I already do occasionally), but I would be the one with our children- being there to help them grow and learn.
    Or
    I can continue to work, bring home 45% of our income which would keep me feeling more equal tote partnership, I would feel valued at work (outside of the family dinamic), his mother would take care of the kids, and we could have a house that has space for all of us and our growing family.

    It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, and I may feel differently later. But saying that I’m not the “stay at home” kind of person was really a difficult thing for to chose. But I am lucky to have a family member stay with my kids to allow me to follow the options that i think will be better for my self worth, my marriage, and I really believe my children this is the best option for my children too.

    Thank you for the warnings of a working mom household. I will heed them as much as I practically can.

    Wish me luck!

  15. Amanda says:

    I love being a stay at home mom, not only do I get to do whatever I want like go to the gym (my gym has a daycare) I can hang out with friends, read books, go to the movies, and most importantly play with my kids all day long. I consider my stay at home status my job, so I take it seriously and make sure to get dressed up everyday and keep the house clean. I don’t need a paycheck or validation from the world to make me feel important, I know I am important to my family and that is enough for me. I do plan on working once my kids are in elementary school,(I have a teaching credential) so I can save for their college and our retirment. If you can afford it,I highly recommend staying home those first few years, it is worth it.

  16. Anne says:

    Have found all these comments helpful but I am still torn. I don’t love my job but I am just worried I will be bored or depressed at home all the time and lose my patience with my baby. Hoping I find my answer soon.

  17. Jessica says:

    I think choosing to stay at home or work is a personal decision. Stay at home moms should not judge working mothers and visa versa. Being a stay at home mom is an honorable one and should be respected. Women of all kinds have different attitudes and ambitions. I think it’s okay if you want to be a working mom. I’ve talked to many women who tell me that they need something outside of the home for their own sanity. This does not mean they don’t enjoy taking care of their family- it just means that ambition outside of family life is important for their well being too. I grew up in an upper middle class family with a working mother. I loved spending time with my grandmother who took care of me while my m and between that time I would be at day care. I don’t feel ruined as a person because of it- I’m fine. We went on some killer vacations (which I remember most fondly from my childhood) because my parents could afford to do so. Would I have been better off raised in a household where my parents were fighting because they struggled to pay their mortgage and afford the things that we wanted for fun? I don’t think so. Some families simply can’t afford to not have 2 working parents. I think it’s interesting that the conservative point of view encourages women to pursue a career and education but not actually use it once they’ve had children. The sad and unfortunate fact is that 50% of marriages break up- and although you would swear up and down that it will never happen to yours I wouldn’t assume and leave yourself without options. If you do work- you’ll be missing good chunks of time without your kids and that is unfortunate and does at times seem wrong. Do what is best for your family and for your happiness- what other people think or what society expects does not matter.

  18. tami wars says:

    my work is crazy and demanding…. im struggling balancing work and home with our 5 month old. my husband wants me to quit and im scared. i just received a decent raise but the stress and extra work wont go away. im tired of someone else raising my son and i want to be there for him… do i take the leap of faith or do i keep struggling to hang on?

  19. tami ward says:

    my work is crazy and demanding…. im struggling balancing work and home with our 5 month old. my husband wants me to quit and im scared. i just received a decent raise but the stress and extra work wont go away. im tired of someone else raising my son and i want to be there for him… do i take the leap of faith or do i keep struggling to hang on? my husband is a cop and we would see him more if i stayed at home. he is willing to work overtime if we need it and he wants me at home too. we have changed sitters twice and the new one is better than the last, but its not me. i dont eat dinner half the time and he doesnt get a bath half the time-would staying at home make me happy? i think it would make me happier or do i figure out how to let the demands and timelines and time restraints go? i cant do it all and i feel like my husband is the only one who is listening but im scared to take the leap of faith. what is wrong wih me? why am i paralyzed by the fear? i have second guessed every decision i make since he was born and i have lost all self confidence in everything i do and say because my boss criticizes me…

  20. MeeMee says:

    I struggle with this a lot. I currently work part time with 2 boys, 8 and 3. I worked the entire childhood of my oldest until my 2nd was born – then I stayed home for a year while I finished school. I enjoyed being home but we were also out and about a lot doing things with my family.

    When I finished school I went to work. Honestly, I’m underpaid completely! However I work part time and have to deal with no bad looks or “talks” when I’m out a few days with sick kids, when I heave to leave early or come in late for a school activity, etc. I’ve weighted it as the pros and cons.

    Recentaly I’ve been struggling with working (maybe because I haven’t been as happy at work). My husband is allf or me not working. He’s willing to work the 5 extra hours a week we’d need to make ends met. To work I have to pay a lot and there isn’t really much left out of my check. Our daycare, gas at $500 a month, and insurance for the kids (It was free when I’m not working). It cost me $1600 to work, I have about $150 left from each paycheck. Now during my season in my profession I have $300+ left over.

    My problem is that in order for me to stay home hubby has to work overtime. He’s been with his company for 10+ years and has always worked this overtime. I have a fear of if I stayed home what if suddenly he couldn’t work, now I have no job and we are short? Not by much, just maybe a very low grocery budget, etc. We’d still be able to pay our bills. Just that’s about it after groceries.

    Not too bad right? Well here is the kicker. I live in a tiny town where I know nobody. There is nothing in my town either. In order to have a play date, etc. I’d have to go 20 miles out of the way to do so, even to go to a park. If I’m not working the extra $ to do that is not there. I’m afraid I’ll go crazy and resent my husband for it, especially since all my family has moved away so there isn’t really many people to do anything with. I’ve looked into groups, etc. but there is nothing in my town, too small. 20 miles away.. yes. But then again, the $ situation.

    It’s an every day struggle to decide what to do.

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  22. stacy decuypet says:

    Didn’t get to read every comment thoroughly. I’m a beautifully blessed mom to a 17 month old beacon on light. I’m writing about my husband…when we met, I had a higher paying job and covered most expenses. Around the time of our wedding, that stretched is financially, I got laid off. We were doing fine on his salary after the wedding and held off on my job hunt to get pregnant.
    When that blissful morning, a mundane Tuesday I, truly took a ttest for giggles, gave us the best news of our lives, I couldn’t have felt more peaceful. (super run on sentence..more to follow). It’s late and I’m typing on my phone….3 months in, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. I refused the “cone” procedure, commonly used to determine severity, because of the slight risk it posed to my child. I should also add that I’m a high risk 38 yr d.
    At this point, my bestie/husband, who I never doubted would be my amazing support, turned incredibly…..honest, I have to let this out, petulant and distant. We had a beautiful, healthy angel. In my hospital bed, he told me how experiencing my 7HOURS ofabor showed him that , “WOMEN MILK THESE SITUATIONS”.
    I was shocked as this is not his normal way.
    So then we have to deal with this cancer. I went for total abdomenal hysterectomy, leaving my 6 month old at home with his parents. I had comications that kept me there 10 days. He left me to ;”make sure his mom was alright with our baby, at our home, every night but one.
    I used to run matathons, and just ran my first turkey trot 5k….adding that to help gain perspective on husband’s total resentment. When I came home from the hospital, I was loaded with stitches and bedridden. So thankful for in laws here to care for new baby, but devastatef to hear him laughing and playing not being able to walk downstairs.
    I know I’m going too long into the story, however, I want to be fair when asking for advice. Baby is 17 months d now and a lovely handful. I’m home with him and as draining as it can be, I’m so fortunate and thank God nightly to enjoy this little person whom I cherish beyond words.
    My husband has become someone I’m not sure I can ever love/trust anymore. He has come to believe that my days here at home, from sun up to sun Down are really that admirable and has torn me down repeatedly.
    I’m just looking for suggestions on how to avoid confrontations, ugly ones, yet help him appreciate what a big job I have.

  23. tamiw says:

    buy the book “power of a praying wife” and pray for him.

  24. At the end of the day, it is a personal decision. When we were expecting our first one, I was planning on staying home full time for few months. But after a while I felt like I needed to converse with an adult, and needed my outings. When I was fresh, I was able to take better care of my baby.
    The Women Talk recently posted..UK’s Prince William and Catherine expecting a baby

  25. Cynthia Lopez says:

    I am in nursing school at Washington State University. I worked so hard to get here. It is a really competitive program to get into. I am miserable. I feel that my family really needs to be home. I have two older sisters who have awesome careers, and my family have always directed me to this path. I have talked about being a stay at home mom with them, and they are against it. My husband would love it if I did decide to stay home and we can finacially afford to do so. I have not worked in a while since I have been in school. I am still torn. I would hate leaving school if my husband got sick and could not work any more. I plan to get a part-time job at a school as a substitute teacher. I need support. I want to be brave to do what my heart wants to do. I always thought that God led me to this career. I feel like there were a lot of signs from God because he wanted me to become a nurse. I lack total passion being in school. I dread the thought of being a nurse. Help.

  26. tami says:

    Follow your heart… I was a paralegal for 14 years and after we had our som the stress of juggling work and home was just too much. My husband said to quit and come home where I belonged. I struggled with the idea for several months and when he was 7 months old, took the leap of faith. It was the best decision I ever made an my husband was 100% supportive and that was all that mattered to me. Several people, including family criticized us but we stood firm with our decision an all couldnt be happier. There will always be a what if scary idea that will paralyze you in your fears but fear will hender your faith. As women we are called to be nurturers and to care for our families, if you can financially stay at home-then do it. Its not an easy road and at times lonely-but its worth it in my opinion!

  27. Kasey says:

    I enjoy staying at home raising my daughter but like others I admit you miss out on the adult interaction.
    Money also is always tighter as a one income family. I am so thankful for starting my own home based business and can continue to be a SAHM but also go do my wrap parties and wrap sessions when my schedule permits. I am able to add full time income into my household by only working part time hours. It’s like having my cake and eating it too. This is what works for me and it may be an option for you as well. You can contact me if you want more info on how I make it work for me. 251-367-6933

  28. SamanthaW says:

    I completely agree with your point on no regrets. You can always regret not spending enough time with your children, but you never hear anyone regretting spending TOO much time with their kids!

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