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How much time to prove a point??

post #1 of 28
11/12/08 at 10:23am
Thread Starter 
I was at the store today for a good chunk of time (about an hour). For about 45 minutes of that hour, I endured the screams of a child that didn't want to stay in the cart.

When ds was younger and he started something like that, I either #1 tried to talk/cajole/end the tantrum as easily and quickly as I could or #2 if that didn't work after a reasonable amount of time (depending on the situation maybe 15 minutes?) I would leave the store regardless if I had paid or not, or if I saw a tantrum coming I'd just grab what I had so far, pay, and leave.

I know this woman was trying to prove a point that just because you act up, I'm not immediately taking you home. But 45 mins. that the other shoppers had to put up with this??

Do you think this is too much time to drive your point home? At what point do you just say, "Darn it all!" and cut your losses?
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post #2 of 28
11/12/08 at 10:28am
My children have never put me in that position, thankfully, well my daughter did throw a fit here at the house one time. It went longer than that and finally she just fell asleep in the floor. But never out in a store.
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post #3 of 28
11/12/08 at 10:28am
Just to point out a possibility, maybe the woman didn't want to leave because she had to borrow a car or had a ride only for that day and had to get groceries or else have nothing else to feed the screaming child once they were home?

Given that there were no extenuating circumstances, I would not last very long with a screaming child. Probably 5-10 minutes. It's not worth me having a headache at the end, losing my temper, being in a foul mood, etc. And if my child were that upset for that long, I'm guessing there would be something majorly wrong besides them just not wanting to be there.
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post #4 of 28
11/12/08 at 10:36am
honestly, I am sure that the woman got many a stares, and kudos to her for sticking with it. We never know what the other side of the story is, like someone said, maybe this was the only time she could shop, etc...

It never bothers me when kids scream and throw themselves about in stores, it bothers me WAY more when parents give in just to keep the peace, and lack of embarassment...

I say, good for her
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post #5 of 28
11/12/08 at 11:32am
well my kids have never done that thank goodness. i probably would have cut my losses if it had gone on that long but others bring up a good point who knows what the situation really was.
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post #6 of 28
11/12/08 at 11:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by bananabellesmom View Post

it bothers me WAY more when parents give in just to keep the peace, and lack of embarassment...

I agree with this. I can't stand seeing a kid cry "I want a cookie, I want a cookie", mom says no about 3 or 4 times and finally says "fine" and hands them a cookie. Yep, that kids not gonna cry next time they want a cookie, huh?

I must say though, I wouldn't have lasted 45 minutes!
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post #7 of 28
11/12/08 at 11:51am
There could be so many reasons for why she put up with it for that long. I think a pat on the back and a "I've been there too" would have gone a lot farther than people staring and criticizing.
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post #8 of 28
11/12/08 at 11:55am
I have been that woman and I can't just leave when I am 30 miles from home and not buy my groceries. It had nothing do with proving a point to my children.
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post #9 of 28
11/12/08 at 12:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by georgisdsu View Post

There could be so many reasons for why she put up with it for that long. I think a pat on the back and a "I've been there too" would have gone a lot farther than people staring and criticizing.

Plus, if it bothered the other shoppers that much then they could have left the store and come back another time.
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post #10 of 28
11/12/08 at 12:09pm
Liam has never screamed like that, he has whined and carried on for about 10 minutes before (not the "I want a cookie" whining, but just general discontent for being at the store, I can't stand when parents give in on the "cookie" whining, I've never given in so he never asks).

Honestly, when that has happened, it was partly my fault. It was times when I stopped at the store on the way home from an activity when it is just about lunch and nap time. He was tired and hungry and I really shouldn't have been at the store at that time. I can run in for one or two things, but not a whole grocery trip. I think parents need to take into account that their child is tired or hungry before they drag them through a store. (this relates to the sleeping thread too with the kids at the store after 8 pm when they should be home in bed or winding down)

If he was ever to scream like that for no good reason, I would leave the store, BUT we would not go home. We would sit in the car and sit and sit and sit until the tantrum ended. Then we would go back in the store and finish our errand. I would not just take him home because that would be giving in, that's where he would rather be. It's pretty miserable to be stuck in your car seat in the car when it's not moving. We have done this at restauants before, he screams and gets to sit in the car until he is ready to join the table.
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