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Toy guns for presents??? - Page 2

post #11 of 60
As probably one of the biggest gun nuts on this board, I do understand where you are coming from a bit. I would respect your beliefs.

We have lots of guns here - all locked up (actually need a new safe, the one we have is overfull). Heck, my dad got DD her own gun - while I was still pregnant with her!

Now, I'm not really keen on toy guns, unless they are used to teach proper safety - you never point them at a person, you never point them at an animal, you don't use them in the house etc - just the same way a real gun is to be handled (self defense and hunting teaching can come later, after safety is down pat).

Crap, I gotta run. I'll be back on this thread later!
post #12 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliadam View Post

I have no advice because I'm personally one of those people who don't mind. I never bought my DS many toy guns, but it didn't matter. He'd take sticks and beat bushes or other things to death and even at 16 still likes to swing a wooden sword around he got years ago. (only in the house of course as it wouldn't be cool if someone else saw him ) But I don't believe that playing with toy guns makes a kid violent any more than I believe that a boy playing with dolls makes a boy gay. My DS is probably the most pacifist kid I know. So no advice from me. It sounds like if your DH and you aren't on the same page so that's the first place I'd start. Otherwise I guess you'll just have to keep doing what you're doing. You can't really ask the grandparents or other parents and kids to change what they're doing because of your beliefs.

post #13 of 60
First and foremost, your in-laws should respect your wishes regarding what toys your children are and are not allowed to have. Instead of throwing them away, ask your in-laws for the receipt, take the kids to the store, and let them exchange them for something that meets with your approval.

I'm not wild about guns either, and the only one we own is an air rifle that my husband uses to keep raccoons and possums out of the garbage cans. Even though the cans have lids, the little buggers find ways to get into them.

Although I don't like guns, I did go to a firing range and learn how to shoot. Even though I don't own a handgun, if I were in a position of having to use one to defend myself, I could do so. My daughter knows how to handle a rifle, as she likes to go deer hunting with a friend of ours. I love venison, but I'm not willing to sit in a tree for hours in the freezing cold to get it.

Toy guns don't teach gun safety - toy guns teach that guns are toys. If your husband wants to teach your kids gun safety, he should (IMO) enroll them in a gun safety class at a local firing range.
post #14 of 60
I'm with Aliadam and your DH on this. I understand your POV as I used to be TOTALLY "No War Toys" and all that, but I've realized since then that making something taboo makes it FAR MORE INTERESTING to kids. The other night we were with friends & I gave their little boy a Nerf gun for Xmas. I have never seen that kid so excited in my life - it was a BIG Nerf gun. A group of us were talking about "gun" gifts and everyone agreed if you're going to give one, give one that is brightly colored that can NEVER be mistaken for a real one. Others mentioned when their kids didn't have a toy gun, they just took their sisters' barbies and bent them into a gun shape & said "bang! bang!" or used sticks that were sort of gun shaped or whatever.

I truly believe that by making something SO off-limits, you just make it that much more desirable. Toys are toys - just get them one that is not realistic looking. And, when they are old enough, allowing your DH to teach them about guns responsibly is fine. I can see not letting them near real guns that are not locked up safely, but I do think you are taking this to an extreme - especially just throwing away perfectly good toys. And I think you and DH need to be on the same page as this. Go watch "A Christmas Story."
post #15 of 60
i personally thinks its in the education and teaching whats right and wrong.
post #16 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by melsb View Post

I would be very concerned regarding your inlaws guns in the pantry behind a curtain. Even my uncle, who's the biggest NRA guy in the world (he even builds his own guns as a hobby) is a firm believer that guns in a house, especially with children around, should be locked up. Your family is saying that your children should be taught how to be responsible around guns, fine, but evidently you inlaws could use a bit of education on the subject as well. A lot of people have been shot with an "unloaded gun" and there is no way I would allow my kids to go down in that pantry with those guns.

I don't have a problem with people having guns in the house, but I have a big problem with them not being locked up. Leaving guns out just invites trouble.

Quote:
Originally Posted by View Post

The other night we were with friends & I gave their little boy a Nerf gun for Xmas. I have never seen that kid so excited in my life - it was a BIG Nerf gun. A group of us were talking about "gun" gifts and everyone agreed if you're going to give one, give one that is brightly colored that can NEVER be mistaken for a real one.

with this too. I'm not a fan of toy guns, but I don't have a problem with the big, colorful Nerf guns. My dd's even had one of those that shoots water for outdoor summer play.

BTW, where in the world are your inlaws finding toy guns? Except for the occassional Nerf, I never see toy guns at the store anymore.
post #17 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenyx View Post

Toy guns don't teach gun safety - toy guns teach that guns are toys.

I disagree with that statement. Playing with toy guns didn't make me disrespect them. It's the parent's job to educate kids against violence and anger; toy guns can't do that.
post #18 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenyx View Post

Toy guns don't teach gun safety - toy guns teach that guns are toys.

I totally disagree with this. I don't think that kids that play with toy guns grow up thinking that guns are toys. There is NO WAY that my DS thinks that a gun is a toy. He inherited a gun from his grandfather when he died (all the boys got one) and he's never even touched it at the age of 16 even though he knows he has it. He knows that REAL guns aren't toys.
post #19 of 60
Does a toy oven teach that ovens are toys? My mom would not let me have an easy bake oven when I was a kid, as she felt they were dangerous, and I was never allowed to touch the oven. The result was that I moved out at 23 with no idea of how to cook anything.

Does a toy lawn mower teach that mowers are toys? Mowers can be quite dangerous around kids. How about a toy car? I think you get the idea.
post #20 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by calimari View Post

Does a toy oven teach that ovens are toys? My mom would not let me have an easy bake oven when I was a kid, as she felt they were dangerous, and I was never allowed to touch the oven. The result was that I moved out at 23 with no idea of how to cook anything.

Does a toy lawn mower teach that mowers are toys? Mowers can be quite dangerous around kids. How about a toy car? I think you get the idea.

I do get the idea.

I consider an Easy Bake a miniature oven, and not really a toy. I would not let my daughter have one until she was old enough to use it safely - which was the same age that she could be taught to use a full-size oven safely.

Toy lawn mowers aren't generally made to look very realistic, and most real mowers come with safety features that make it difficult to accidentally start them.

As for toy cars, I don't think the whole Power Wheels craze is a good thing, but again, even if a kid did think that the family Camry was the same as his Power Wheels Jeep, it's a little harder for them to accidentally unlock and start the car than it is to see Dad's gun and not be able to tell the difference between it and a realistic looking toy.

I'm all for teaching kids how to handle potentially dangerous items safely when they are old enough. I just don't think it's a good idea to give them toys that mimic potentially dangerous items.
I made the decision not to allow my child to have toy guns because I didn't want her growing up pretending to shoot people. I also didn't allow her to have Barbie dolls, for a completely different set of reasons. I caught flak from folks that wanted to give her cap pistols as well as folks that wanted to give her Barbie dolls.
What toys your kids are allowed is totally your decision, just as what toys my kid was allowed was totally my decision.
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