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Almost 4 year old - speech delay and developmental delay

post #1 of 19
4/9/10 at 7:32pm
Thread Starter 
Hi there! I'm not sure that this is the right place, so if not, would the Toddlers and Preschoolers forum be more appropriate?

We have a little guy who will be 4 years old at the end of June. He stays home with my DH during the day and is with me and the girls in the evening. Because he didn't have many social opportunities, we enrolled him in 3 year old preschool and back in November, they had identified a speech delay (he was about a year behind in speech when we started) and a cognitive developmental delay (i.e., he has trouble remembering multi-step directions). He goes to preschool Tuesday and Thursday from 9:00 - 11:30 and since identifying the speech delay, they have him in a Speech Booster class on Mondays from 9:00 - 11:30.

We have his annual review meeting next week. We got a call a month ago from his case manager for us to give thought to holding our little guy back and have him repeat 3 year old preschool next year.

His case manager (that is with him in class on Tuesdays and Thursdays) felt that the 4 year old preschool curriculum was very academic and she didn't think he would be able to keep up. She also indicated that he gets very frustrated when people don't understand him. While he has progressed leaps and bounds since they started him in the speech booster class, I think that it may not be enough to get him ready for the 4 year old curriculum. I don't want to set him up for failure, I just don't know what the right thing to do is. Do you (I) just go along with it, or are there certain questions I should ask to confirm that it's the best decision? I feel terrible for even thinking this, but isn't giving him the extra support in this program supposed to avoid holding him back? Or are we not doing enough? Or is he that far behind? What should 3 year old preschoolers know/do that he doesn't? Can we do things at home during the summer to help his progress? Is it okay to ask them these questions at the annual meeting? Is it normal for summer birthday kids to wait an extra year to be in school?

Of course, my older daughters (8 and 9) had already planned what grades they'll all be in (DD9 would be in 5th grade, DD8 would be in 4th grade when the DS3 would be in kindergarten) as they get older. If this is the best decision for him, I want to explain this in a way that they would understand and wouldn't turn this on him later (not that older siblings EVER do that).

Any thoughts? Any other information that would be helpful to know?

Maegan
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post #2 of 19
4/9/10 at 8:20pm
My son has a middle July birthday. He was in K-4 at a local church preschool. After talking with his teacher, we enrolled him in the K-4 class at his current school. Some of his classmates from the church program are a year ahead of him at his new school. We have explained that being in K-4 (instead of K-5) was best for him. My son does not have the speech and cognitive delays your son does. His issues were more maturity and readiness. It is a difficult decision for any parent to make, but we have never regretted our decision. My advice would be to talk to all of your son's teachers and get their opinions. His teachers know how he performs on a daily basis in the classroom and also what expectations there will be for the next year.
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post #3 of 19
4/9/10 at 8:24pm
Okay, after reading your post I understand why you asked me the question in the kindergarten thread. I think you need to trust them. I don't think your son will think twice about repeating 3 year old preschool. I used to teach k and I have 2 boys - one with a Sept. birthday and one with an Aug. birthday. Our cutoff date is Sept. 1 but it might as well be June 1. Nobody around here sends their summer birthay kids on. My youngest is in pre-k now (what you are calling the 4 year old class) and it is so different from his 3 year old class. He can write all of his letters and numbers, he is starting to read, he is grasping basic math concepts, he is becoming a little student!

I think you need to do some soul searching. What is the rush? Why not let him have another year? I can tell you that it is much easier to give him that year at this age than it will be later on down the road.
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post #4 of 19
4/10/10 at 5:01am
I know exactly where you are coming from and you are doing the right thing. My oldest child my son has a severe language disability. At age 2 he wasn't really talking. We started him in early intervention and head start when he was old enough. He is now in 2nd grade. Over the summer between 1st and 2nd grade was a real turning point. 90% of people started to understand him or more! It isn't easy. We started him in kindergarten at the regular time, and he still did not know all of his sounds, letters, etc. He is still getting help in everything except for reading becuase he improved so much. However, his normal grade for language is usually a D.
My middle child has no problems. My youngest is also delayed in speech. She will be 5 this summer and goes into kinderharten in the fall. She started speech when she was 3 1/2 and is now in headstart. Not everyone understands her. She was staying home with me and started headtstart last November.
Just a few hints: be patient(it can be very frustrating), read to him every day, find something that works for him(my son learned to read from Transformers book and my daughter has picked up things if you can turn it into a song), also keep going with the speech and keep working. There was a test done and 90% of students that have speech problems are fine by the end of 3rd grade. If you need me just ask.
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post #5 of 19
4/10/10 at 5:11am
I am going to pipe in on a few of your questions. Then, I am going to talk with out preschool adviser/director and come back and give my 2 cents on the rest.

-It is absolutely okay to ask them ANYTHING you want to at your annual meeting (or any other time).
-If a child is to be retained, the younger the better.
-Support in the classroom does not (necessarily) keep a child from being retained. Most educators don't support retention for children with learning disabilities. IMO, it would depend upon what type of developmental delay he had.

I will come back with some more input Monday.
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post #6 of 19
4/10/10 at 5:39am
All of the questions you asked are exactly what you have to ask them! Great questions!
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post #7 of 19
4/10/10 at 7:10am
If he is having trouble being understood then I would definitely keep him at the school. I would also recommend private speech therapy. Although a financial hardship, it will only be temporary and you will see such a large improvement. I would also ask the school, specifically, the teachers from the speech class for at home homework for you and the family. With my boys, we could understand them fine because we had become used to the way they talked. And make sure his sisters aren't doing too much for him.
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post #8 of 19
4/10/10 at 8:20pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by josephfive View Post

If he is having trouble being understood then I would definitely keep him at the school. I would also recommend private speech therapy. Although a financial hardship, it will only be temporary and you will see such a large improvement. I would also ask the school, specifically, the teachers from the speech class for at home homework for you and the family. With my boys, we could understand them fine because we had become used to the way they talked. And make sure his sisters aren't doing too much for him.

Josephfive, thanks for your comments. I really appreciate everyone's input on this. We have become accustomed to the way he speaks, so we understand him much better than anyone else. At our meeting, I will ask all my questions and include yours about the "homework." And for sure, his sisters do too much for him, so we're working on that too. They love pretending to be little mommies. They are generally helpful, but sometimes they are too helpful!!!

Thanks again - and our meeting is Wednesday, so I'll post to give an update.

Maegan
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post #9 of 19
4/11/10 at 9:10am
How does your school's special education department come into play? Are there any Early Intervention programs in your county? We were lucky enough to have a developmental delay preschool program in our school system and I know students from other school systems came to our program. Also our county run school district has several summer programs for children with delays.

I would try to find out what programs are available to you. That is what we here in my state pay school taxes for and dd got to attend Early Childhood Developmental Delay preschool which only had 12 students/attended daily/and were VERY focused on each child's needs. When it came time for K she still attended 1/2 day in the preschool and 1/2 day at K. She is now doing very well in 1st grade and still receives speech therapy and other services through the school.
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post #10 of 19
4/11/10 at 7:40pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MXD View Post

How does your school's special education department come into play? Are there any Early Intervention programs in your county? We were lucky enough to have a developmental delay preschool program in our school system and I know students from other school systems came to our program. Also our county run school district has several summer programs for children with delays.

The special education program is a part of the school district and is at the same location as the park district preschool program. He attends preschool on Tuesday and Thursday with the park district enrolled students. There are 4 special education teachers in my little guy's class - one for each special education student in his class.

A mom I met through the preschool used to work in the special education program at this preschool. She has been a great help. She did say that at one time they had a summer program, so since you mentioned it too - I will ask!

Thanks again for everyone's support. It's great to talk with moms who have more experience with this than I do.

Maegan
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