Have you ever miscarried? - Page 3

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I've had one MC, between my first and second. Two days before Thanksgiving 2004 the spotting started. Heavy bleeding started during the night and I "lost" the baby around 3 in the morning. There wasn't really anything left to see by the time I had my ultrasound the next morning. I was 7.5 weeks. I knew something wasn't right from the beginning, but just tried to convince myself I was over-reacting. Turns out I wasn't.

We waited a cycle before trying again and got pregnant the first cycle afterwards. I love my son with all my heart, but I struggled for awhile with the knowledge that, biologically speaking, it would have been impossible to have both him and the baby I lost. And I had a lot of guilt too because a few hours before the spotting started I'd read an article about the pros and cons of having babies less than two years apart and panicked - believing that it wasn't something I could handle and wondering if we'd made a mistake not waiting awhile longer to get pregnant again like we'd originally planned. But for me, not knowing the baby's gender was the worst. I refer to the baby as a her, or as Baby Independence, which is what we nicknamed her when we found out we were pregnant (my due date was July 11th) and before my daughter was born in October (after three boys), I think part of me felt like I had lost my only girl. But time heals most wounds and while I think about her occasionally now, remembering doesn't hurt the way it used to.  

And you're right, it's not talked about nearly enough considering how often it happens. Please feel free to talk to us if you need to. One thing that amazed me when I had my loss was finding out how many women around me had lost babies but simply hadn't talked about it.

I don't know if you're at all religious, but there's a devotional a friend gave me (who had her second or third miscarriage around the time I had mine) called Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg that helped with my grief journey.

Tried to amend my last post and I couldn't but I wanted to mention that church I was referring to in my last post.  It is called the Shrine of The Holy Innocents.  If you google their website you will find that you can 'order' a certificate with your baby's name inscribed on it, and they will enter your babies record into their Book of Life.  This is free, and I think I might have sent in a small check just to show my gratitude, but it isn't necessary.

I haven't yet but I have only tried the once. My brother and sil had a mc with her first pregnancy earlier this year. She recently found out she is pregnant again so we are hoping things go better this time. I have talked to my mom and grandma, mc has happened with almost every woman in my family so I would be saddened but not surprised if I have one in the future. I think women need a place/ear/outlet for support for losing your child at any age and sometimes it seems like mc's get left out at times.

I'm very sorry!! Hopefully you can get the support you need.

My youngest/4th was a twin, but we lost the other baby very early on. I hadn't even adjusted to the idea of having twins yet, when we found out the other baby didn't make it. I was just thinking about that the other day, I don't even know if it was a girl or a boy.

I am very sorry for your loss.  I hope you are surrounded by the love and support I know you need right now.  I know the loss of a child, no matter how young, is emotionally draining and can make a person feel horribly alone. 

I miscarried while DH was overseas and I wish I had sought out the support then when I needed it.  I'm glad to see you're not making that same mistake. 

((Hugs))  I'm so sorry about the loss of your baby, Swishina.  I miscarried my first two.  Based on due dates, my older ones would turn 19 & 17 this year.  It's not something I ever forgot, and it helped me to talk with someone else who had experienced a miscarriage.  You may PM me if you need someone to listen.

I'm new here!  I just had a natural m/c on 1/18/12.  This was my 7th loss.  This last one was probably the worst of them all.  Here's my history - missed m/c at 11 weeks, had our daughter who is 10-1/2 yrs old now, ectopic pg/lost right tube, ectopic pg in the top portion of the tube that was removed, ectopic in left tube/tube saved by using Methotrexate, pg 3 months later and never saw where pg was/miscarried, ectopic in left tube/saved tube, and this last loss arrived 2-1/2 yrs after my last ectopic pg and made it into the uterus. We found out we were pg the weekend my entire family was going to be baptized at our church.  I was also sharing my testimony of pg loss and how my faith has helped me deal with it all.  Because of my history, I had an ultrasound that next Monday and we saw the baby in the uterus.  I had another u/s that Friday and we saw the heartbeat.  My daughter was with me at that appt.  It became real to her too.  Everything was going well, so my next appt was 2 weeks after that.  Dec 30 we saw the heartbeat again and everything was going well.  Next appt 3 weeks later.  Meanwhile, I had made an appt with a High Risk Dr.  We went to that appt on Jan. 16. We had the ultrasound and there wasn't a heartbeat anymore.  We were devastated!  I asked my dr for a D&C the next day since that was his surgery day.  He saw me that afternoon, but wanted me to wait.  I stopped the progesterone I had been taking and bleeding started the 18th.  By that night, I had extreme cramping and bleeding. I passed several large pieces in the toilet before we managed to make it to the ER.  I had a horrible experience there.  It took over an hour before I got something for pain and something for my nausea. I had started throwing up when we arrived there from the pain. I had a D&C scheduled for the afternoon of the 19th, but they ended up moving it up to the first surgery of the morning.  I let my dr have it for making me wait and for having to go through that - the physical pain and the emotional pain.  I still have nightmares of miscarrying and how I was treated or ignored in the ER. 

Thankfully, I had a lot of support from my bible study group and other friends.  God has given me a lot of friends that only have one child - many have had losses also.  They brought us meals for 2 weeks and showered us with love. It helped, but it just isn't fair!  Of course, we have a good friend who found out she is pg the same time we did. She is due 10 days before we were. 

On-line forums and loss bible studies have helped me over the years!  I can't believe it has been 12 years since my first loss (April 12, 2000).  Some dates sick and some I've tried to forget. :(

I'm 40 and not sure it will happen again for us.  My dr now is offering Clomid to speed up the process.  Before now, I would have said NO, but the clock is ticking!!  Anyone else used it?  Advice???

Thanks -

Shelley

I missed carried twice.  Once at 3 weeks and the other at 5 1/2 weeks.  Both were do to the fact that I have Hashimotos Thyroid disease and non of my doctors caught it.  It should have been the first thing they tested me for after the 2nd miscarriage but they didn't.  I highly recommend asking to be tested. It is a simple blood test and you will need at least 3. I was only tested for 1 which wasn't enough.

Ask for blood tests TSH, T4, and T3.  TSH can show that your thyroid is normal when it isn't.  If the thyroid goes unchecked it can lead to serious health problems including heart conditions.  Mine went on for went on for 9 years unchecked until the fertility clinic at Colombia discovered it.  NYU was useless.  I went to them a year before and didn't like how they treated me so we left they never tested my thyroid.

If you sleep during the day, and feel groggy when you wake up and suffer what seem to be migraines, dizziness, are having joint pain even though you plenty of water, have weight gain that you can't get off, waking up in the middle of the night, fast heart beat for no reason, suffering from depression on a beautiful sunny day get the test for the thyroid and find yourself a great endocrynologist.

I am a totally different person! I just wish the doctors tested me instead of telling me that miscarriages happen for no reason.