Is the "Change of Life" a reasonable excuse for poor behavior?

There is never an excuse to be rude over nothing.

But honestly I have been going through the change for over 7 years now, maybe more and it is h*ll some days. Even though I am on medication for hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats and just plain being bit**y, it doesn't help some days at all.

On those days I can't even stand myself. So I just try to stay by myself as much as possible.

But I have also seen people who use every excuse they can to be a bi**h.

1/ it can take some women 10 years, and it impacts everyone differently.

2/ I see people on here talking all the time about hormonal changes during pregnancy, and being "emotional" or "easily upset" and everyone seems very understanding about it when a woman is pregnant. Going through menopause is also a hormonal change, so why wouldn't it possibly make some women easily irritable?

3/ I don't see what she said as being rude. If she's talking from experience, it sounds to me like she is telling you that she thinks you are taking on too much right now w/ everything else going on in your life and, yeah, why not make cookies instead of mousse? It's easier. Most likely, her tone is what upset you.

4/ I say just let it go. Not worth dwelling on.

I have no experience with this yet, but I don't think it is an excuse.  She was on the phone with you...what for 10 minutes?  She couldn't in that amount of time be pleasant to you and hand over the recipe?

I don't know.   I didn't go through menopause in a traditional way so never really had any of the symptoms.   I personally found PMS to be much worse when I had it and I see women use that ALL THE TIME for their bad moods and ill behavior.   Lots of times I can even tell when people on MS must have PMS because they're sort of snippy about lots of things all of a sudden.   So I agree with calimari....it's a major hormonal change and should be excused if pregnancy and PMS are.   Or people can choose to think none of them are acceptable.   I personally find one just as acceptable as the others.

Quote:

Originally Posted by melsb 

The thing is, she always is this way. Well, 90% of the time. She's good about 10%, sometimes. She is one of the most judgmental people you ever will meet. Everyone is an idiot. No one has it together. Truthfully, she's had some screw ups in life as well. They've had money problems, kid issues, and everything else. Just like everyone else but the woman is incapable of compassion, towards anyone.

I could definitely give someone a pass on being rude once in a while if I knew they were going through something like menopause, PMS, etc. There is no denying that I can be b*tchy during my time of the month sometimes. But 90% of the time? No. That's just a case of nasty personality IMO.

She's just being a *itch.  I went through it 8 years ago, (sailed through it actually), although I think the hot sweats, etc. can last a lifetime (I still get hot flashes, but they were never Really bad), I think that the emotional stuff is a bit for 15 years!  

I guess I'm officially IN menopause which is the complete cessation of menstruation. "The Change" that most women think of is actually peri-menopause - when periods are irregular and the symptoms are the worst. I still have hot flashes and some moodiness. I was really hoping the hot flashes would STOP after several years.

I know you don't like your SIL. It is apparent that she has no love loss for you either. Perhaps that is the source of her *itchiness. Or perhaps she didn't like knee surgery being compared to the experience of almost becoming a widow. Ouch! Yeah, I guess menopause can make a woman a little *itchy