What would you say? - Page 2

Kind of related, but not...whenever we would visit my SIL, she always served water with meals.  We always give a choice at our house, so it was a bit strange, but we accepted that that is how she and her family do dinner.  So I think kids need to learn to adjust to other people's house rules and customs and accept them. 

No, you don't order her anything else - But...and this may not be popular, but I would have let her order her own drink.  If you know the family well enough that they let their kids have soda or caffiene, I would let her have it, regardless of what I get for my own ds.  If I didn't know but trusted the child was telling the truth, I would let them  get soda without caffiene if that's what they said they were allowed to have.

Now she should not have acted like a brat, she should have said OK and left it at that.  But as she was a guest I would have let her have what she wanted in the first place.  Ds knows what he is allowed to have and frankly that's just life.  Sometimes it's good to be "Jack" and sometimes it's good to be "Jill".  Meaning, well, sometimes my ds is allowed things others aren't and vice versa.  If ds would be sulky about it, I just say, "Oh well - that's the way it goes", case closed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by melsb 


Really? I always love these questions because you see how others respond and other households runs. When children visit I don't allow then that much free reign over my home, I'm not horribly strict either but I do have a few rules the same applies for when we are dining out. Honestly, it never for a moment crossed my mind to give her a choice of what to drink, like I said, everyone at our table was drinking water. And perhaps, because I've worked with the teens so long, I have learned to be more direct. About a 1/3 of the boys will come to my house insisting that they hate water and refuse to drink it but most, not all, will leave my home liking water. Only one currently refuses water and, interestedly enough, he is the only one currently with a weight problem too.

Yeah, it probably stems from the fact that when I was a kid and would eat at my neighbors, they would automatically pour me a glass of milk with dinner because that is what they all drank.  I hated milk and would just drink it (because I was a kid and that is what I was told to do).  I loved eating there but drinking that milk made me gag.  It would have been so much more pleasant if I could have just had water but I didn't dare say anything and they never gave me a choice.  Now I would never think of not asking someone, even a child, for their preference if there were multiple options available.
 

Were her parents with you or was she alone with you?  And who was paying?  If it was on MY tab, water is the rule..and she can live with that!

I think if everyone else was drinking water, then I wouldn't offer her anything else, it wouldn't have been fair to your DD if you let her friend get something and didn't let her.  It's not like you were forcing her to drink it, if she didn't want to drink it she didn't have to, and since it is just water, it is not so wasteful like other things would be.  I agree with the post that said kids need to learn that other people have different rules, she needs to abide by the rules you have for your family when eating out with you.

She's a child and more importantly a GUEST!  That was rude.  I always tell my kids to be grateful for what they have instead of griping about what they don't have.  She was being treated to a dinner out with her friend's family.  She's going to have to learn to adjust, not just this time, but on bigger things in life.  IMO, this served as a good lesson for her.

I only get my kids water in restaurants. I can't stand to pay for milk, when they can drink it at home. I wouldn't have bought kids soda, just b/c I don't drink it or give it to my kids. I might have offered her milk, or I might have just ordered them all water, can't say since I wasn't the one in the situation.