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Do you have a "zero tolerance" policy toward any specific behaviors....

post #1 of 17
2/21/12 at 8:04am
Thread Starter 

with your children? What are the consequences?

 

I was having this conversation with a friend of mine, the other day.  It is funny how different families parent.  (One isn't right, and the other wrong, just different.)

 

 

So far, with my kiddos being so young, the only one I could think of was not being kind and generous.  (Most other things require at least a friendly reminder.)  Kindness and generosity are not optional at our house, though. 

 

Re: kindness - Neither of mine have been hitters or biters, so most of our "ugly" behavior is yelling, grunting, fussing, snatching, etc.  They will get a time-out.  Add (the older one) will have to apologize and explain what she did and why it was wrong.  Or, if there is a logical consequence, we opt for that.  (For example, she was going to go to the store with her dad Sunday.  When her brother started running to the door, because he wanted to go too, she blocked him and said, "No.  You can't go.  Just Addie will go with Daddy."  Tone and facial expression proved that it was "bully-ish", so J got to go with Dad, and Add had to stay home with me.

 

Re: generosity - If they don't share their toy, for example, they lose if for a while.  If they don't share their "treat", they lose it, etc.

 

I love hearing others situations to prepare me for the future!  wink.gif

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post #2 of 17
2/21/12 at 8:11am

They never were biters or spiters, but that would have been a zero tolerance policy.

 

There is no name calling in my house. You keep your hands to yourself when you are angry. There is no head bopping or eye rolling----I can't stand those two behaviors. 

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post #3 of 17
2/21/12 at 8:12am

I have a zero tolerance policy for lack of respect....to me, to another adult, to each other, and to themselves.  That pretty much covers the bullying, the name calling, the sassiness, the pushing, the pulling, the kicking, etc.etc.  I am not a mean mom...or a super strict one....but I think when you expect the respect...you are more likely to get it.  My kids are not angels...Lord have mercy are they NOT...but overall, they are really good kids in my opinion and the opinion of others.

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post #4 of 17
2/21/12 at 8:17am
Quote:
Originally Posted by deemom View Post

They never were biters or spiters, but that would have been a zero tolerance policy.

 

There is no name calling in my house. You keep your hands to yourself when you are angry. There is no head bopping or eye rolling----I can't stand those two behaviors. 


SO agree on the eye rolling.  My oldest daughter is the only one who ever really attempted this.  I wanted to knock her eyeballs into the back of her head!!!  LOL  OOhhhhh...that makes me mad!

 

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post #5 of 17
2/21/12 at 8:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by blessed_with_6 View Post


SO agree on the eye rolling.  My oldest daughter is the only one who ever really attempted this.  I wanted to knock her eyeballs into the back of her head!!!  LOL  OOhhhhh...that makes me mad!

 



My oldest has done it twice. The first time she was told that was NOT allowed, it was disrespectful. The 2nd time she did it I said "What did you just do!". Her answer....."I was looking at the ceiling Mom." I told her she got points for creativity, but it was still disrespectful eye rolling and she lost her music for a week.. She has never done it again. 

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post #6 of 17
2/21/12 at 9:58am

Eye rolling doesn't bother me. They can roll their eyes all they want as long as what comes out of their mouths is appropriate and respectful. 

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post #7 of 17
2/21/12 at 10:17am

Disrespect and lack of manners are zero tolerance in this house.

 

They have to pull from the job jar and that usually fixes things for awhile until the horrible job effects wear off!

 

Last week A was supposed to take the trash out before school.  He got all involved in the tv and didn't take the trash out.  He lost tv for Fri and Sat.

W used to slam his door.  After lots, and I do mean lots, of door slamming, the door was removed.  He had to earn it back.

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post #8 of 17
2/21/12 at 10:18am

Once they get older, taking their phone, ipod and/or laptop along with tv/video games is a great punishment.  They can sit and READ!!!! Just like the 'olden days' they tell me!

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post #9 of 17
2/21/12 at 10:29am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Susannah View Post


W used to slam his door.  After lots, and I do mean lots, of door slamming, the door was removed.  He had to earn it back.



Love that.

 

When they are a little older, I plan on using the take-it-away-earn-it-back approach.  I had a homeschooling friend whose daughter complained about her clothes relentlessly, everyday (according to mom).  So, mom took away ALL of her clothes and bought her 2 or 3 pairs of khaki pants and white polo shirts.  She had her wear this uniform until she was thankful for her clothes (which she had picked out in the first place) and wrote an essay about the fact she was thankful, why she was thankful, and about people who don't have the ability to have a closet full of clothes.  It was a couple of/few weeks before she had the opportunity to earn them back, too.  I was surprised she did it, but it worked.  This is a pretty laid back mom....the daughter must have been reeeeeally pushing it.

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post #10 of 17
2/21/12 at 10:36am

A coworker took the doors from  her kids and they never slammed a door again.

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Mommysavers › Forums › General Discussion › Family Matters › Do you have a "zero tolerance" policy toward any specific behaviors....