I'm having a rough time right now emotionally, spiritually, physically, you name it. I just can't seem to get it together...or even care TO get it together. The divorce is weighing on me....can't seem to figure out how to let him go in my heart. And I am just exhausted from trying to do it all and be it all...yet feel so INVISIBLE at the same time. Anyhow, I got off an hour early from work yesterday. I went home, told the kids to hold down the ship, and I went and took a LONG, HOT shower. I came out ready to get a few things done.
Well, first there was the bickering. And then there was the printer not working, and Riley accidentally deleted his whole hour of homework on the computer and I had to find it. And then there were FIVE, not one, but FIVE, black widow spiders on my back porch. And then the kids were all hyped up over that and not listening, so I tapped on the back window to get them to come in...only on the last tap, my hand went THROUGH the glass (thank GOD the mini blinds were shut and I was knocking through them, so I wasn't hurt!). And, after I taped up the window (anyone ever replace a pane??), I went to do some laundry only to discover that E had accidentally left a disposable diaper on the bed that I had scooped up WITH the dirty clothes and it had exploded gel all in my washing machine. And by supper time, I was in tears and had a horrid headache and mostly was ready to give up.
So...then here comes MaryGrace. "Mama, it is OKAY with me if I don't get to go to recess tomorrow." Me, "Um, okay, why?" (I was thinking it was her booboos from Monday night!). "Because I don't want to do my English homework and it is okay if I have to miss recess because I didn't do it!"!!!!
What do you SAY to that? Sure, she had weighed it out and made her decision based on what she felt she could live with, but she is SEVEN! LOL So, I told her that it was her choice, but I thought that MAYBE she should see about at least trying (They were practicing letter writing and using commas!). An hour later, this is what she brought me (and honestly, I had thought at this point she had walked away from it.).....
"Dear Mom, You are a great, good, powerful, wonderful, loving, hugging, praying, welcoming, and the greatest mom I have. I love you, Mom. Love, MaryGrace".
Now, how is THAT for putting it all in place? ♥ Yes, it is HARD....and yes, there are days I wonder how I am ever going to do this. But you know what? Those kids don't see that. All they see is that I love them...and love them with all of my heart and soul. And somehow, at moments like these, I know, without a doubt, we are going to make it. How could we NOT?