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How much is too much to tell your child??

post #1 of 23
5/16/12 at 7:52am
Thread Starter 

I do feel like I did the right thing, but I wonder if others in my position would have done something different.

 

My husband almost lost his job last week.  It wasn't for any other reason that something he did on her personal time, but in the comapny vehicle  got him in big trouble.  Turns out that he didn't lose his job over it and went back to work today.  We thought as of last wednesday that he was going to be fired, and it was a shock to all of us.  I felt I needed to tell the kids.  I didn't go into details of what happened (I know youa re all wondering, he got a DUI)  but I told the kids that Daddy made a mistake, and he is losing his job over it.  I reminded them that quite often I teach them that thier actions don't always effect just themselves, but everyone else.  In this case, Daddy made a mistake, and we are all paying for it.   I wanted to also know that things would be extremly tight moneywise, and they would have to bear with me as I searched for a job and tried to support us. 

 

My daughters are 10 and 12. I didn't feel the need to sugarcoat much.  I gave them need to know information and thats it.

 

Would anyone have handled this differently?

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post #2 of 23
5/16/12 at 8:02am

No I think you handled it fine :)
 

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post #3 of 23
5/16/12 at 8:27am

I think every mother knows what their children can handle.  

 

With my own kids, I probably would have told them half the truth.  I would have told them about Dh losing his job, you having to start working full time again and that things were going to be tight for awhile and you would need their help pitching in at home.  Then I would have let them ask questions if they had any and answered as honestly as possible without revealing too much of the details.

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post #4 of 23
5/16/12 at 8:32am

Some kids can handle more than others, as their Mom you know best what that is. If they can handle the whole truth, then tell them the whole truth. If they can handle part of it, be as honest as you can while only telling part of it.

 

I would tell my kids as much as I could, preferring to tell them the whole thing. I think what you did was right.

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post #5 of 23
5/16/12 at 10:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diane View Post


With my own kids, I probably would have told them half the truth.  I would have told them about Dh losing his job, you having to start working full time again and that things were going to be tight for awhile and you would need their help pitching in at home.  Then I would have let them ask questions if they had any and answered as honestly as possible without revealing too much of the details.

I agree with this. I probably would have told them their father was possibly losing his job, etc, but I personally wouldn't have told them he screwed up. If my DH wanted to tell them the real reason then he could have, but I wouldn't have gone there. I wouldn't feel it was MY place to tell them of his mistakes. It would have been his.
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post #6 of 23
5/16/12 at 10:08am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliadam View Post


I agree with this. I probably would have told them their father was possibly losing his job, etc, but I personally wouldn't have told them he screwed up. If my DH wanted to tell them the real reason then he could have, but I wouldn't have gone there. I wouldn't feel it was MY place to tell them of his mistakes. It would have been his.

 

He was honest with them and told them before I did that he messed up.  So when I sat them down to talk to them,  Sammie said 'I know, Daddy already told us he made a mistake'.  I don't know what he told them, I know he didn't go into detail.   But they already knew when I sat themd down.

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post #7 of 23
5/16/12 at 10:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missystuy View Post

 

He was honest with them and told them before I did that he messed up.  So when I sat them down to talk to them,  Sammie said 'I know, Daddy already told us he made a mistake'.  I don't know what he told them, I know he didn't go into detail.   But they already knew when I sat themd down.

 

Then I would have done exactly as you did too.  smile.gif

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post #8 of 23
5/16/12 at 11:08am

I'm sorry.  I'm glad your dh didn't lost his job.  I would have been honest, but I would have left out the part about everyone paying for someone else's mistake.

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post #9 of 23
5/16/12 at 11:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missystuy View Post

He was honest with them and told them before I did that he messed up.  So when I sat them down to talk to them,  Sammie said 'I know, Daddy already told us he made a mistake'.  I don't know what he told them, I know he didn't go into detail.   But they already knew when I sat themd down.

Well you didn't say that at first LOL. I thought you were the one telling them. In that case since he'd already told them he'd messed up, I probably still wouldn't have emphasized that. I would have just said the part about how you were going to have to find a full time job, etc.......the stuff that involved you. But since they already knew, it probably didn't matter in the long run.
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post #10 of 23
5/16/12 at 12:56pm

I think you did just fine!

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