Let the An Invisible Thread discussion begin! - Page 2

 

 I really didn't blame him for that issue in their marriage.  I think she must have been pretty naive to think he would change after they got married, especially at the ages they were.  If she was adamant about really wanting kids, it should have been up to her to broach the subject before they married, not change his mind after the fact.

Question: Do you think you would ever do what she did? Would you take a child from the street to get food? Would you have instead offered money or would you have just walked away?

Even after reading the book, I still would not do what she did.  Part of me wishes I could, but there is just no way.  There are just too many unknowns in this world.  I would also worry that the child would be frightened of me if I offered to take him to buy lunch.

 

However, it has made me think more about what I would be willing to do.  I might buy a fast food meal and bring it back to someone.  I'm not so sure I would give money as I would be afraid it wouldn't be used for food.

I don't know if I'd do exactly what she did, however, the book has opened me to being more aware of developing friendships with a wide variety of people. Laura's friendship with Maurice violated all sorts of social conventions for becoming friends: they are a different race, they live in vastly different economic classes, they travel in significantly different social circles, they are many years apart in age, and their friendship has no obvious means of reciprocity. Is it legitimate to develop a friendship with a person just so you can help them? Or should we only be developing friendships with people we can help?

 

I admit one of my biggest pet peeves was seeing the beggars on the block near the Health & Welfare office. They'd hold signs like, "Single dad with kids. Anything helps." Yet I know that H&W gives assistance to kids (or families with kids) even when the parent royally messes up. If you have kids the office to get assistance is RIGHT THERE! Turn your head around and walk 50 yards in that direction. Stand in line instead of stand on a street corner, for goodness sakes! So when I see people begging on the street I tend to lump them directly into the category of "clueless" or "manipulator". If I see a child begging on the street, I'm more likely to assume that s/he is there as a ploy to get some adult money (much like Maurice's mom did with young children who lived in the building).

 

So I probably wouldn't do much for a beggar but I'm hoping I'll be less likely to make assumption who I meet in the course of my daily life. The problem is I tend not to pry in people's lives. I think about our real estate agent. Remember that guy with the over-priced house who kept calling me trying to convince me to buy it? Well, I was talking to him one day after our real estate agent had shown the house to one of her other clients. The home owner went on and on about how he liked and admired our real estate agent because "she's a single mom with those boys and she is working so hard to better her life." Funny, but I had no clue! I never pried as to whether or not she was married or not, whether or not she owned a home or not. I knew she had children and approximately where she lived because she volunteered the information (usually while working around her schedule.) However, I never asked because I figured I didn't know her well enough. Yet here was this guy who only talked with her for no more than an hour and he practically knew her life story! I have to work on that.
 

I'm not sure. I think I would be hesitant to help out the way she did. I would always have in the back of my mind that I would be taken advantage of. As Diane said there are just too many unknowns. This was over twenty years ago and the world was very different back then. Nowadays with the economic downfall priorities for everyone (affluent or not) have changed drastically.

I wanted to make a couple of observations from my notes while I was reading the book. 

 

• When she speaks of her mother having another child and Laura's hope for her family dynamic to change for the better. Thinking that this (a new baby) "would be the thing that would tamped down" her father's demons.  - It seems there was a constant hope for normalcy after each major event or change in her family. Same craving for normalcy that Maurice had after each encounter or new experience he would have with Laura. This could be another factor (even being from very different backgrounds) they had in common. 
• When Laura and Michael have the disagreement about Maurice, and how Laura wishes she would've stood up to Michael and done what was in her heart but instead, she didn't - She is settling like her mother did. Doing what she didn't like her mother doing, staying quiet and not standing up for herself. 
• And to me, Maurice said it best in his letter to Laura "An invisible thread is about a mother longing for a child and a child longing for a mother" and how that longing had nothing to do w/DNA. It had to do with two people who needed each other. Though it seems that Maurice was the most benefited by this relationship, Laura benefited just as much or even more than Maurice by learning resilience, perseverance, and so much more from Maurice. 

 

Great observation!  I agree that Laura benefited just as much if not more from the experience.  I really envied her courage to do this.

Based on past experience, I would probably do nothing or give money. I don't think I would have taken a stranger with me anywhere. This story turned into a nice friendship, but befriending a child in those circumstances may not have been wise for her to do, since it could have ended really badly. I guess she took a risk because she did felt pulled in that direction in a way she couldn't even quite understand herself. I guess we all probably feel compelled to do things that defy logic or social convention at times.

Spinoff question: Have you ever done anything out of character, impetuous or risky because you felt so strongly compelled to do so? How did it turn out?

We're about 82% done with this book and I have to admit, I would have given up on it already if I was reading it alone. Laura bugs me. At this point in the book she has virtually abandoned Maurice. He wasn't invited to her wedding and she hasn't even bothered to meet his son. Okay, so we've read to the point where he borrowed money from her, disappeared, had a second son, and has now re-appeared after the death of his mother.

 

But Laura still bugs me. She seems so self-centered. I'm getting tired of reading how Maurice would never have experienced XYZ if it wasn't for her. I'm also annoyed that she married her second husband with as little fore-thought as her first husband. She assumed so much!

 

I sincerely hope this book gets better before the end - an epiphany maybe? At this point, Maurice is the one who seems to be the hero of the book. I'm not sure that was Laura's intent when she wrote it.