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Do you go to cemeteries on Memorial Day?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 

Do you visit cemeteries on Memorial Day and put flowers on graves?


We went on Saturday to my parents' grave which is just half an hour away.  This is the last year we'll go for a while, though, since we're moving.

post #2 of 12


post #3 of 12
My town has a parade and then moves on to the cemetery for more services. We always mean to attend but something always happens.
post #4 of 12

We did when we lived by my parent's graves.  When we moved an hour and a half away, it sort of fell to my brother and his wife.  Now we are clear across the country.

post #5 of 12

I don't go to cemetaries, ever. The dead don't know I'm there. 

post #6 of 12

We have been fortunate that no close family member has passed--other than grandparents.  But I'm not sure if I would visit the cemetery either.  It would depend on whether we lived close or not. I think you can honor the deceased without visiting their grave site.

post #7 of 12

We should, especially since my late FIL was a WWII veteran, but we never do.  I've visited his grave in the past, but staring at a marker doesn't do anything for me.  I don't feel any emotion whatsoever.  I feel closer to my FIL when I look at his pictures, videos, and his items.  I love sharing these things with my dd.

post #8 of 12
Originally Posted by Phoenyx View Post

I don't go to cemetaries, ever. The dead don't know I'm there. 

This is me too. I just don't have any emotional connection to it. The bones or marker of my loved one isn't my loved one. I remember them in other ways. Even by the time a funeral comes around I've already dealt with what I needed to deal with, and watching a body being moved doesn't conjure up much emotion. And I swear I'm not cold-hearted haha



I have gone if I'm asked to go with friends or family. I don't do it for the deceased, I don't do it for myself, but I go to provide support to the person who asked me to go with them. For example, DH occasionally visits his father's grave. He always asks me to go, but I usually wander around and look at the headstones (the old ones are interesting) and give him his space while we're there. I think he talks to his father, he doesn't remember him much, but if going to the cemetary to talk to him helps him feel better or closer to his Dad than I'm glad for him.


I just don't see how going to a grave site honors or shows respect for the deceased more than just remembering them does. I think it's more for the benefit of the person going, which is fine.

post #9 of 12

I visit cemetaries on a fairly regular basis so I don't usually visit on Memorial day.    And I like to come bearing gifts, usually a little trinket for my Memere, and flowers for the rest of my family.  The only Veteren we have right now is my Grandfather who served in Korea, and died in 2003.  I think about him all the time and visit when I can. 

post #10 of 12
Thread Starter 

my in-laws used to go around to several different cemeteries to visit graves of relatives we've never even heard of because FIL promised his aunt on her deathbed or something.  They've apparently given up, because it wasn't even mentioned this year.


I enjoy visiting my parents' graves, and I usually go down with my siblings when they visit.  Part of it is that I visited my dad's grave with my mom, so I have memories of being there with my mom when she was still alive.

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