If you took care of a parent, do you feel you should be entitled to more of the inheritance?

The parent's outlined the will and the inheritance (should have anyway).

Upon the death of a parent the last thing I'd feel like doing is ripping the family apart further by fighting over money.

Whatever was outlined in the will is how the money/assets will be split. If the surviving kids don't like it or don't feel it's fair, tough cookies.

In many families I know, the person who is the main caregiver keeps track of their hours & are reimbursed a flat rate for their time out of the inheritance.

My family is currently being torn apart by inheritance money as my father has opted to treat one of my sisters differently from all the rest of us. She is angry/bitter. My other sister & I are trying to help her. My brother sides w/ my dad. It's a mess.

I would never fight over money... but I do think the caregiver deserves to be compensated.  Caring for a loved one in the later stages of life can be expensive and exhausting emotionally and physically. While I wouldn't "ask" for money, I would hope that my sister would kick me a little extra.  I would for her. 

My sis and I have already discussed this because in all likelihood, my dad will need care in the next five years or so.  He has progressive MS and is already struggling to care for himself.  While we want to give him his independence as long as possible, we are planning and preparing now.  He is a younger man to need care (59) so whoever cares for him could potentially have him for 20+ years. 

It's been decided (with dad's input) that he will come live with my family and I will care for him.  It makes the most sense since I'm a SAHM.  Sis and I decided that I would get an extra 1K for every year.  It sounds like a business contract because it is.  I love my dad and would care for him regardless, but sis and I both want to avoid any bad feelings.  (It was her idea when I said I wanted Dad to come here.)

No.

I think if you take care of your parent(s) you should do it out of love and concern for your parents, not so that you might get more money when they die.

And most people if they can't take care of themselves get either disability, social security and/or Medicaid. And they should offer some of it to the caregiver, but that shouldn't be a given either.

No, I think the money should be divided evenly.

When my parents and maternal grandmother got unable to care for themselves, I was the one to take care of them physically - even though it was my siblings that lived closer. At the time I had a very flexible work schedule or I didn't need to work so I could travel or be there more. When my dad had a heart attack he couldn't drive when he got out of the hospital so we simply arranged for him to do his physical therapy in ID where I lived.

Even though I did the bulk of the physical care, my siblings did step up some - to the best of their abilities. For instance, my brother took care of my dad's house while he was staying with me in ID. My sister travelled to ID to help me pick out a nursing home for grandma. She also took care of much of grandma's financial, legal and medical billing issues. In some ways everyone did their part.

While taking care of my parents and grandmother wasn't easy, there were some benefits. Grandma would reimburse me for some of my out-of-pocket expenses and my dad would treat us often while saying it was to make his stay more comfortable. For instance, he bought all new bedroom furniture for the room he was using. He also liked to go on long sightseeing trips and eat out (all his treat). He helped out around the house a lot, too.

Besides, I wouldn't say that any of us needed the money. I took care of my parents and grandma because I could afford to not work.

No I think it should be divided equally.  The only time I think someone should get more than another is in the case of my friend whose mom gave her sister tens of thousands of dollars and never paid  her back like agreed upon. They deducted the amount she borrowed and never paid from her share of the inheritance. 

No and honestly it drives me crazy that people expect anything from someone when they die.  Death brings out the worst in some and it's a shame and people should feel shameful about their behaviors.

No body owes you anything family is about helping each other out so no I don't think you really are owed anything and people should be grateful someone thought to leave them anything at all.

I think it is more a matter of consideration for the caregiver. Should one "expect" more in the will? No. But, if there are several kids in the family, and the burden of care falls on one (maybe due to proximity or other reasons), then I think that the other siblings should just acknowledge it right up front & arrange for some kind of compensation agreed to by all. If it is an extra bit of the will, if it is a keeping track of hours worked to help the parent, and an hourly rated determined, and then she gets that much "extra" at the end, or out of Mom's social security check now - whatever. What is important is that the sibs all agree to it ahead of time, that the time and effort of the caregiver IS VALUED.

Yes, the caregiver might be happy to do it, or even volunteer to do it, but it doesn't discount the fact that it takes time, money, and energy. It could go on for years. Other things might be forfeited due to the caregiving. Resentments might build over time. My sister was happy to take the largest load in caring for our uncle. My other sister and I helped when we could, but she dealt with him at home, then with the nursing home, hospitals, did all his bills and paperwork - it took hours and hours for a few years. She tracked it all & was given an extra stipend at the end.