Son and Daughter refuse to wear summer clothes - Page 3

At home, I just don't see an issue. My DS is 16. Wears jeans most of the time. We live in Florida. Hot as heck here. Even I was wearing shorts and I almost never wear shorts. I get cold very very easily. Like the slightest breeze will give me a chill and then my teeth chatter and it is 90 degrees outside. Yeah, crazy.

 

At school...first, I would talk to the school. See if she can wear sweats. Find out the reason behind them only wearing shorts for gym. That sounds ridiculous. If they won't bend and let her wear sweats then she has to dress for gym in shorts. IF she chooses not to dress then she faces the consequences. One is failing gym class. The other would be a permanent grounding with extra chores to keep her busy until she decided to comply.
 

Okay, here's my suggestion on what to do.

1) Go talk to the school and see if they'll make an exception. Explain the situation to them. I'm sure this isn't the first time they've had a shy/modest/insecure child who doesn't want to dress for gym. I commend you though for NOT lying. I agree that teaching kids to lie when it benefits them is only going to hurt them in the long run.

2) If the school will make an exception, then I would just forget about it. I have two older kids (22 & 19) and they BOTH went through phases of not wanting to wear shorts. My DD especially was incredibly modest. She wouldn't wear spaghetti strapped clothes until well into high school. She had several years she wouldn't wear shorts. Trust me....her shorts now will let you know she's outgrown that. Now they did both wear the gym clothes, but the rest of the time they chose to wear long pants even in the sweltering summer heat.

3) If the school won't make an exception, then I'm not sure what to do. I would maybe have them wear the gym clothes around the house when no one else is there to get them used to wearing them without worrying about judgment from others. Maybe if the get more comfortable with them, it will become less of an issue.

Good luck! Raising teens can be hard!

I agree with aliadam.

 

 

Now if they won't make an exception? Then they really have no choice but to wear the given clothing, including the shorts. Like Mamax said earlier, you need PE credits to graduate. Failing grades aren't tolerated, if she can't pass a class because she refuses to wear shorts, then shyness be darned, she has to wear them. Outside of gym class let her bundle up to her heart's content. But if shorts are required, then she needs to suck it up.

I agree with seeking an exception. A kid in sweats can perform in gym just as well as a kid in shorts. As long as the kid is dressed in something suitable for athletic activity, I don't see the problem.

I've always thought the whole idea that everyone had to wear the same clothes for gym was stupid anyway. I understand the need for a separate set of clothes for gym, but see no reason that it should have to be a specific item as long as it's not a suit and heels. Requiring gym uniforms is just a way for the school to make money.

Edited by Phoenyx - 6/21/12 at 8:00am

As a former hs/ms phy ed teacher, schools (at least ours) did not make money (well actually we made like .10 or something like that because we rounded up to make it easier-and the money went to a fund to help out kids who could not afford a uniform). One of the reasons is the kids have two color shirts that are used for teams, then we did not have to use pinnies (which the kids hated and would always try not wear correctly) and when we went to unifoms the number of kids changing increased by quite a bit, we also did not have to worry about kids wearing inappropriate clothes. We did however have the option of shorts or sweats.

 

I would talk to the teacher or better yet have your daughter talk to the teacher (or another teacher that she has a good relationship with, that teacher could probably help her) I personally see no reason why they could not allow her to wear sweats.

I agree, talk to the school and see if there is some kind of alternative she can wear for pants instead of shorts.  I can see them requiring a certain shirt, was thinking the same as bargainshopper that maybe they need a specific shirt for team activities.  If the school will not budge, then you at least tried and she is just going to have wear the shorts.  Tell her that failing gym is not acceptable, and if she fails gym because of not wearing what she is supposed to then grounding is the consequence.  As for other times, she is old enough to decide if she wants to feel uncomfortable, so I would let her and your son choose what they want to wear at those times and not make them wear shorts.  If they choose not to wear swim suits, then they are the ones missing out and again would not force it.

Wow.

 

Well, I can see why you "covered" for your daughter as you were in a bit of shock, but I think in the fall you'll need to tell the school that you did not send the letters, and let them know to confirm any more "excuse" letters with you by phone. And let them know you dealt with her on that during the summer.

 

In the working world, at many jobs, there is a dress code. Whether it is uncomfortable or corny things at a fast food restaurant, waitressing, in the business world (suits, ties, skirts, hose) - there are dress codes their whole lives. It is something they need to learn - there are times when they won't be able to where whatever they want. So, they should learn to get used to it - school prepares them for the realities of life. Saying they don't "want" to follow a rule is not a good reason.

 

This is good advice and I totally agree.