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Do your kids think not going to college is an option? - Page 2

post #11 of 23
6/26/12 at 10:36am

In this house college of some sort (4 year college, community college or trade school) is an expectation. Raising two girls I want them to have the ability to financially take care of themselves and their families without depending on a man. 

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post #12 of 23
6/26/12 at 10:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diane View Post

I don't know if my kids ever thought not going to college was an option. They just always assumed that was the next step.  I think by high school, they pretty much understood that they didn't have to go, but by then it was already in their mindset that they were going.

This was our kids too. We never one single time told them they HAD to go, but in our household it was always discussed as an assumption. We'd talk about "when" you go to college. Just as going to elementary, middle school and HS was an assumption, it was assumed that you then go to college next. My DD was talking about grad school by middle school even. She always knew she wanted to go to college and then on to grad school.

Also, in our community kids just go to college right after HS. Neither of my kids had a single friend who didn't go straight to college. My DD didn't have a single friend who didn't graduate in four years. Probably at least 1/2 of them are going on to grad school. It's the mindset of all the kids and their parents, so again it's just assumed you'll go. Now my DS HAS had a few friends who dropped out and say they'll go back (always think that's a bad plan), and two who joined the reserves after their freshman year of college but are both planning to go back after their 6 months is up. His friends don't have the love relationship with schooling like my DD's does, but I think most of them will eventually finish.
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post #13 of 23
6/26/12 at 12:06pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliadam View Post


This was our kids too. We never one single time told them they HAD to go, but in our household it was always discussed as an assumption. We'd talk about "when" you go to college. Just as going to elementary, middle school and HS was an assumption, it was assumed that you then go to college next. My DD was talking about grad school by middle school even. She always knew she wanted to go to college and then on to grad school.
Also, in our community kids just go to college right after HS. Neither of my kids had a single friend who didn't go straight to college. My DD didn't have a single friend who didn't graduate in four years. Probably at least 1/2 of them are going on to grad school. It's the mindset of all the kids and their parents, so again it's just assumed you'll go. Now my DS HAS had a few friends who dropped out and say they'll go back (always think that's a bad plan), and two who joined the reserves after their freshman year of college but are both planning to go back after their 6 months is up. His friends don't have the love relationship with schooling like my DD's does, but I think most of them will eventually finish.

 

I talk about when they go to college. That is exactly how it is here, they think of it as high school, etc.  The next step in life.

 

There are a lot more kids in our area that do not go to college. 

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post #14 of 23
6/26/12 at 12:07pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by deemom View Post

In this house college of some sort (4 year college, community college or trade school) is an expectation. Raising two girls I want them to have the ability to financially take care of themselves and their families without depending on a man. 

 

I agree.  My girls have talked about being a sahm like me, I told them that is fine but they also need a career.  After that they can decide whether to be a sahm or working mom.

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post #15 of 23
6/26/12 at 12:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by deemom View Post

In this house college of some sort (4 year college, community college or trade school) is an expectation. Raising two girls I want them to have the ability to financially take care of themselves and their families without depending on a man. 

 

J and I just had this discussion as she is contemplating what she wants to do (she does have a degree).  She keeps telling me she and her fiance could do fine on just his salary.  And I counter with but can she do fine on just her salary.  She knows how important it is not to feel stuck in a relationship because of income.

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post #16 of 23
6/26/12 at 12:37pm

My daughters school actually does  too much pushing for my taste. Yes my 6 year old knows about college and that she is expected to go one day. She knows that her parents both went to college. But I also have a good respect for people who work in trades. We live in a military community. We have many lower income families where college will be a difficult option.  I would think it would be better to tell our kids that we are preparing them for their future and not start pushing the options until they are older.  Instead they keep drilling it into there little heads that college is the option of choice without discussing the other options. 

 

We push college at home but really if I had to say right now she will be wanting to go to an arts school and not a traditional college. Still that can change in 12 years. I know she wants a family but I agree she should have other options.  In hind site I wish I had gone more into my childhood dream. 

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post #17 of 23
6/27/12 at 6:12am

Not at this point either.  He recently told us he didn't like a certain run down part of town (this was when we were in Cleveland - he was talking about East Cleveland, quite scary)  I told him that's why he studies hard, gets into a good college and gets a good job so he can live in a safer area.

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post #18 of 23
6/27/12 at 8:03am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormy View Post

Not at this point either.  He recently told us he didn't like a certain run down part of town (this was when we were in Cleveland - he was talking about East Cleveland, quite scary)  I told him that's why he studies hard, gets into a good college and gets a good job so he can live in a safer area.

 

I have the same talks with the girls. 

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post #19 of 23
6/27/12 at 12:40pm

My kids have been taught since birth that college is just a natural progression from high school.  DS is enrolled in 2 dual credit classes at the community college this summer.  His plan is to have at least 20 credits when he begins his first semester of college in 2 years.  Neither of my kids look at college as an option it has always been a requirement.

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post #20 of 23
6/27/12 at 12:52pm

After high school, comes college. Just like after middle school comes high school. It's just kind of approached in our house as that is the way things are. However, I'm certainly not going to force my child to attend college. I would like it if they went, but I don't see it as a necessity depending on their aspirations. If college isn't going to happen after high school though then they better have a job lined up. No free rides in our house.

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