How to phrase this without sounding poor!

I am/was guilty of this too.  When the girls reached the age when they could no longer order children's meals, I still made them!  They were so embarrassed but the prices were just ridiculous.  I eventually overcame that (and am ashamed now that I did that), but I also have a very hard time letting that stuff go.  For the longest time, I would tell my girls (again, when they were younger) that they should just get water and then I would let them have a soda at home.  

 

I really don't have any advice.  Just wanted to let you know you weren't alone.  But I also felt guilty for feeling that way and talking about how expensive things were with the girls.

Can they make him the specials with reduced spices? If it's just the hotness of the dishes that is turning him off ordering them I'm sure they can make it milder.

 

As far as telling him no...it is what it is. "Going out to eat is a treat, but when we do it every week it can get expensive. Do you want to try some of the specials or less expensive meals, or should we go out to eat less often? Do you have any ideas for meals that aren't expensive to buy or for dinners at home?"

Just for the summer, since your ds will be along, could you choose a different restaurant with cheaper lunches that your ds would enjoy?

Don't feel guilty for making your son choose something less expensive.  I think it's good for him to learn to be frugal. 

 

 

I was thinking that too.  A lot of times they can make them less spicy.

 

 

This was my other thought.  Or maybe go to the other place every other week, to help compensate for DS's choice at the Thai place being more expensive.

What I would do (and I also have a 10-yr old) ...

 

~ Go out to eat less often.

 

~ Go to a different restaurant.

 

~ Leave DD at home for that short while (she is hit or miss on this one - sometimes she wants to stay home, other times she has to be with me no matter where I go.)

 

~ Cut the budget elsewhere. I'd probably spend less on groceries in general but choosing to cook less expensive meals or picking less expensive ingredients.

 

We actually started going out less often or to cheaper places.

If it was me, I think I'd find a way to cut down on the eating out.  It sounds like this is a nice idea for just you and dh, and it is probably a nice afternoon by yourselves, to connect and chat.  If your ds is old enough to stay home alone, I'd insist he do that so you have have a 'date' with your dh. Otherwise, if you want to go out, I'd 'suck it up' and let him get what he wants.
 

This is what I was thinking too. Maybe in the summer you should pick a place with a more kid friendly menu and just go to the Thai restaurant during the school year. We have always struggled with this issue with DS too. I'm scouting out the menu looking for something inexpensive that I still like that I can order, but he wants to order something expensive. It's embarrassing to argue with your child over price in a restaurant, so I started discussing it with him BEFORE we went. Especially places that have ribs, he'd want to order a full rack of ribs. So on the way to the restaurant I'd tell him, only a half rack. By the time he's filled up on bread, salad, and the starch that comes with the meal, the half rack is fine.

It DOES get expensive once kids start ordering adult meals. Imagine with 2 kids or more!! But part of the point of eating out is enjoyment, so I'd either look at doing it less often, or finding another restaurant. What I would NOT do is make him order an entree that he clearly wouldn't enjoy.

I would go to a different restaurant.

 

While I understand not wanting to talk about money all the time, I think it's also fine to explain to him what a big fat waste of money it is to order a soda every time you go out!  there's a difference between being frugal and being poor.