overwhelmed.

I have to figure out my bills but I am quite frankly overwhelmed. Ugh. I just looked at the balance on my bank account. It isn't enough to pay even one of the 4 bills I have due. As far as I can tell thus far we only blew about $75 on stupid stuff and the rest of the check was on more necessary stuff like gas, meds, groceries, phone, a loan payment, school stuff, etc. I hate days like this. I really do. 

Oh, I get paid for the most part. For the family iwht the 1 and 2 yr olds I am only charging for one kid instead of 2 but am getting paid. I am also getting tutoring from that mom for my kids free. My BIL has/is giving me what he can when he can. We always and forever fall behind in July no matter how much I try to plan for it. We will be caught up again by Sept. I knew this was coming so I wasnt' real surprised. Still is overwhelming to look at because I don't like to be behind at all. <sigh>

I wouldn't turn away these particular kids even if I wasn't getting paid anyway. It is a matter of my path in life. At some point we will retake our foster parent classes and go that route. These are kids that truly need us, their families need us. We get taken care of in return. If not by them then in other ways. What goes around comes around. Needs always get met, even if the wants don't. 

I finally think I have it figured. We will be all caught up by the end of Aug. I also am babysitting the 2 little kids I watch during the day mon-fri this weekend from Fri morning until Sun afternoon straight. Extra money there. BIL is going to give me some money this weekend also since I have A LOT of running around to do with his kids. Most of the back to school stuff is purchased already. I will have dh call the satellite/phone/internet company tomorrow and deal with that. $75 may seem like a lot but I can't really cut back any more on DH or else he will freak out. When he doesn't have some money he tends to overspend. Childhood issues. We worked on it in counseling and agreed that there would be at least $50 a week for McDs, chew, candles etc. Dumb stuff we could do without. So $75 is pretty good.