What I love ... and hate ... about discussion forums is you get all sorts of replies. Honestly, some replies I read and I think "junk - pure junk". Some I read and I think "how wise!" Take what works for you, leave the rest. When you're getting so upset about a post that you're obsessing about it away from the computer, it is time to take a break. Get advice from a variety of resources, especially real-life friends and family who know more about your situation. Keep in mind, some advice posted here may be exactly what your best friends WISH they could say to you. That's one of the blessings of discussion forums; we don't have to look into your eyes when we're saying it.
Another blessing of discussion forums is I count as "friends" people who are members who I have never met. Some of these people are so much like me; I feel a natural kinship with them. If we were neighbors, we'd be fast friends. Other people are so very different from me, if it weren't for this discussion forum, I'd never have had the opportunity to get to know them. That would have been a huge loss in my life. And there are some people who I have had to get to know for a very long time before I could grow to appreciate what they're writing and the advice they are giving.
Sadly, there are some people on discussion forums who are completely fake. They never reveal the truth about their lives. We won't ever know exactly who those people are or how many are members on the board. This is the risk we take, not only on discussion forums, but in real life.
Am I judgmental? Of course, I am discerning. I'm not saying I've never made mistakes. I'm not saying I'm perfect (far from it!) Trust me, if I make the same mistakes as those I judge, I'd be just as judgmental of myself as I would of others - perhaps more. At the same time, I still wonder how "you're judgmental" ever became an insult. That accusation always strikes me as a last gasp of the guilty trying to assuage their bad feelings. Usually the "you're judgmental" accusation starts to fly when the original poster is feeling picked on and just wants to stop the conversation.
So, if you're feeling picked on, say it. If you want people to stop talking about your situation, ask them to stop. If you don't think we fully understand the circumstances, tell us to back off - and we might or might not. Keep in mind, you don't have to click on the thread and see what more is written.