Stay-at-home mommy burn out - Page 2

Occasionally I get mom burnout.  I feel guilty not having a paying job and being a contributing member of society.  But then I think about how the house will go to h**l because I won't be home during the day to get things done.  I imagine the arguments dh and I would have about who would stay home with dd if she got sick and who would take her to her orthodontist appointments.  I picture my child staring at the TV every single day of summer vacation because she's outgrown daycare, we're rural and it's too far for her to walk anywhere, and I wouldn't be home to take her places.  Then, finally, I remember many of the crappy jobs I had prior to staying home.  After thinking about all this, the burnout goes away. lol

 

My dd never asks her father about anything.  I'm the one she comes to.  For example, she'll be at a friend's house and call our house to ask a question.  If dh answers the phone, she asks to speak to me.  Then she'll ask me something like "Would it be OK for me to go with <friend and her family> to get ice cream?"  "Yes, that's fine, but you could have asked your dad the same question."   So yes, I have the mom, mom, mom thing too.  When dh's home, I point out to dd that she does have another parent, but it doesn't seem to sink in with her. lol

Edited by Starlite - 8/5/12 at 2:32pm

ah, but us SAHMs (or moms in general) are a very important part of society. We are raising the next generation. 

 

I get that too!  Part of me will miss that pretty soon though, I go back to work full time this Wednesday.  It's been over 9 years since I did the full time job, juggling housework, kids, and a husband. 

 

If it was not for the oppurtunity to provide health/dental insurance with this full time job.  I would be trying to find a part time job to fill in "something rewarding" during my day.  Not saying that raising your children, keeping your house, and providing nutrition for your family, but sometimes you just need something extra to make it more "rewarding" for yourself. 

Good luck!!

 

I don't remember it feeling like a burnout.  I just got bored being home once the girls were in school.  I needed more and it was also nice to bring home a little extra money.

Just ONE of the many reason I'm going back to school! your  not alone
 

I don't know if I'd call it burnout, but I'm having issues with not bringing in a significant income for me and my family.  Before kids, DH and I were earning the same amount.  I made the choice to be a SAHM, and it wasn't easy, financially, but we've managed.

 

Now that my kids are teens, I could go back to work, but I realized that (a) I wouldn't start at the same income I left, (b) I certainly could not jump right in and earn what DH is now earning after 15 more years in the job market than me, and

(c) I actually enjoy being the master of my own time!  I have been working from home, but it's not steady.  I'm looking for a part time job now that would allow me to be free when my kids are out of school.  Soon, they will be on their own. That's is going to be a BIG transition for me!

I've got SAHM burnout, too. I've been a SAHM for 10 years now. I have one year left before I have my teaching certificate and I'm so excited to start teaching. I volunteer A LOT during the day when the kids are in school, I love it and it is an awesome feeling. Hopefully you will be able to this school year! 

 

A big part of it is that you need to make new friends, get out, and have girls' nights every now and then. There is something magical about a GNO. I don't know, but I always feel like a better mom afterwards. We need that time for ourselves to decompress!! 

I agree that getting out with friends helps a ton. I have two mom friends I met at playgroup when our older kids were babies and we try to get together once a month at the local wine bar for a glass and a long chat. It doesn't happen in the summer because of everyone's changing schedules and I've missed that. I know I'll feel so much better once we get together in a couple weeks :)

Yes, and I am very much in the same situation, even though we moved a year and a half ago!  When we moved, I had to leave my job, which I really did like.  As a SAHM, sometimes I can't tell my weekends from every other day.  And you are right, a lot of it is drudgery  plain and simple, and mind numbing. 

 

I do have a plan to get a part time job, my resume is done, and soon I'll be sending it in with hopes of getting an interview.  If I don't, I have several 'back up' plans, though my first choice would bring in more money and would be in an office temping, which I love to do because sometimes they can work around your hours better.  Also I have a great incentive to get a part time job, and that is because my inlaws are coming in the fall and possibly staying three weeks - that's enough for me to take any job temporarily until they are gone (sad but true) so it's not just me home with them through the day!

 

I know you say that your dd does so much better when you don't work, but what if you tried to find something part time during her school hours?  That's what I did back in Ohio and it worked out great for us.  On the days that I worked, it was the crock pot for dinner and that worked out very well.  I was more productive, even at home, and the days off truly seemed like a treat.  My key was to keep my hours low.  Of course that meant still getting ready, getting there, etc. for not a lot of $$ because you are working low hours, but that's actually what I prefer so I Can get my other stuff done at home.  I was working on average about 12 hours a week, which sounds like nothing, but when you've got a full household to run, and a child to raise and take care of, that is three full - half time days of of 5.  That was definitely enough for me time wise.

 

 

Sincerely, I hope you consider this.  If you can work around your home schedule, your dd won't even know that you were working.  Ds never knew the days I worked.  I dropped him off at school, went to work, did my 4 hours, ate lunch on the way home, got home, did house things, rested a bit, then picked him up.  He didn't even know I was gone.  He didn't like the "idea' of me working, until I told him it paid for our fun things and vacations.  Good luck.  I so empathize with you!

Good luck Cookie! I hope things get better for you in the fall.

I love having a part time job out of the house, my summer this year has been so much better I think because we got a little break from one another lol. Worked it out with 2 of the boys friends that we barter a day so I didn't have to pay daycare and our days we hit the pool on their days they usually do some sort of out and about activity which is nice since I don't drive!!