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Stay-at-home mommy burn out - Page 3

post #21 of 28
8/6/12 at 6:54am
Thread Starter 

DD knows, even when I worked part-time. For a while I worked the census and could arrange my hours around her school schedule which meant she never had to know when I wasn't home. She still flipped out. There is something that happens where she starts to think "Mom can't come to the school if I need her" and she just loses it.

 

Funny but she was just asking me yesterday if I was planning on getting a part-time job. How does she do that? I was talking to hubby about the possibility of getting a part-time job while DD was off swimming with a friend. There is no way she could have heard us! Anyway, her friend's mom works all the time which has made for a rather boring summer for her. I wonder if seeing the friend has raised DD's anxiety about me working. When she was asking me about working, it sounded like she was trying to talk herself into believing it would be a good idea.

 

Still, I hope volunteering - especially at the school - will help fill a hole. Actually, the only part-time job that really worked out was when I did recess duty but DD just thought I was coming to see her at school everyday.

 

BTW, the unemployment rate in our county just rose to 9.4% - not horrible for MS, but not terrific either.

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post #22 of 28
8/6/12 at 6:56am
I probably would have experienced this but the three years that imhad to work outside of the home, I missed the little ones dearly and all of the stuff that went along with being at home with your kids. In fact yesterday, as I was rushing all over to prepare for us to get out of the house, and I found myself getting annoyed, I did remember that it was Sunday and that usually I worked Sunday morning and that helped get my attitude in check. But I also am lucky, we work from home, and though we are never away from our work, my DH is usually around with me somewhere.
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post #23 of 28
8/6/12 at 10:03am
I know how you feel. I am the closest thing out there to a 1950s SAHM too. I don't plan on returning to work when my little one enters kindergarten. Managing a home, kids and bills is enough for me. We enjoy our weekends and evenings together so working most jobs is not an option for me. It does get boring at times though.
This year I am going to volunteer at least once a week in the school library and once a week in at a crisis pregnancy/parental education agency in town to keep myself busy. The only way I would return to work is if I could find a job as a teacher's aide.
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post #24 of 28
8/6/12 at 10:09am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookie2 View Post

 

I'll also be looking to volunteer in a couple of other areas in the community.

I don't mean to give you a hard time smile.gif but if you are going to be volunteering anywhere but her school, then you are going to be dealing with her flipping out.  I don't see how volunteering anywhere but her school is different than working somewhere part time.

 

I think I have read (I'm not sure so I might be totally wrong) that you occasionally leave your dd to run errands, etc.  So she is by herself then too and isn't immediately available.  Obviously you know your dd best and I'm sure will get through this.  But I totally empathize with you.  I hope it gets better for you.  

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post #25 of 28
8/6/12 at 11:05am
Thread Starter 

You make good points ... I guess in her head, my volunteering is optional but my working is abandoning her. This is a kid who is forever fixated on what I'm doing when she is at school. When she went to preschool she hated that I'd go shopping without her - like I was denying her the privilege or something. She is hyper-vigilant that I don't play with her pet rabbit when she is gone because she doesn't want the rabbit liking me more than her. When she was a preschooler, I couldn't even lie on the couch and close my eyes (NOT fall asleep - just close my eyes) without her freaking out.

 

And I have to admit, volunteering takes up WAY less time than working part-time. A volunteer "job" is an hour or two, once or twice a week (except at the school where I could do more than one thing). Plus she has lightened up over the years. I can now go shopping for items other than groceries without her making a comment.

 

As for leaving her alone, that is a completely separate issue. For her, that is her being "grown up" and her doing her own thing. She is fine with her doing her own thing. She just gets anxious when I do my own thing.

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post #26 of 28
8/6/12 at 11:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormy View Post

I don't mean to give you a hard time smile.gif  but if you are going to be volunteering anywhere but her school, then you are going to be dealing with her flipping out.  I don't see how volunteering anywhere but her school is different than working somewhere part time.

I think I have read (I'm not sure so I might be totally wrong) that you occasionally leave your dd to run errands, etc.  So she is by herself then too and isn't immediately available.  Obviously you know your dd best and I'm sure will get through this.  But I totally empathize with you.  I hope it gets better for you.  

As Cookie said unemployment is high in her community. When it is high you can't get a job where you tell them the hours you want to work. If I wanted a part time job I would have no choice but to work nights and weekends. Otherwise they would just take the next person on the list who was desparate for a job.
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post #27 of 28
8/6/12 at 11:21am

Cookie I can completely understand what you are going through. My school ended the first week of May and I was ready for it to restart the 1st week of June. LOL! Since Ds has been out of school I feel like I am going nuts. I am lucky my sister takes him once a week for a hour or two so I can just go off. It isn't long but it really helps. My school starts back on the 20th, I need to get my resume ready because I graduate in December. I want a job lined up then. When Dh get home I talk his ear off about anything 'adult", this past week has been the Olympics.

I worry Ds is going to have issues about me working out of the house as well, he can be odd that way. I am hoping since he is used to the idea that I got to school that when it comes time for me to go to work it will not be any different. Praying that the volunteer thing works out!!

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post #28 of 28
8/6/12 at 11:42am

I understand.  It is really hard.  I am forever happy that dh and I planned on me being home until at least ds went to school.  We saved for it, we planned it, it wasn't being lucky, we made our own luck.  We dealt with dh being unexpectedly unemployed for 3 months when ds was just 5 months old, so it wasn't a breeze for us either.  Yet, me working a bit helps me so mentally and I am looking forward to that like crazy!  But our circumstances are totally different, I know that.

 

It will get better!!! Someone told me it takes two full years to even start feeling like a new place is home and I believe them!  It will be two years for us in January.  Hang in there!!  I'm thinking about you.smile.gif

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