Introduction and WWYD - have grandparents watch 2yr old or daycare?

Welcome to the forum!

I would suck it up and let my parents keep watching. The rules are lax but you know he is well-cared for and it is only for a limited amount of time. I don't think any long term damage will be done if he goes another 6 months with the current situation. Plus, it avoids any hard feelings with your parents who will ask why the change, etc. Its just a short amount of time until he can start the nursery school and then he will have fond memories of grandpa and grandma's house

Welcome to the site.

 

I would just suck it up and let him stay with mom. A lot of people would love to have your problem. A lot of grandparents wouldn't even visit their grand kids, and watching them is a defiant no.

 

And that is what grandparents do, spoil the grandkids and give them the stuff their parents won't.

If he can start nursery school soon, I would keep leaving him with your parents.  

 

As grandparents, they may feel like it's ok to "spoil" him, but I find it odd that they lie about it.  An unhealthy lunch won't hurt him too badly if he is still getting great food from you for dinner and on the weekends.  As far as the educational activities, I would just let that go.  He's not even 2, playing with grandpa is enough.

 

For the behavior issues, if there's something that's a particularly big deal (most little kids hit occasionally), make sure you spell it out.  Modifying a toddler's behavior is a lot of work, and some grandparents don't have the energy, or aren't willing to deal with it.  Some parents for that matter! You can also make it clear that if your rules aren't followed, you will take him somewhere that they will be.  Since you have researched daycares, I don't think that would be an idle threat.  Keep in mind also that daycare introduces many behavior problems.  He may be hitting now, but a new friend at daycare may teach him about biting, or taking toys, or naughty words, or other things he's never thought of doing.

Welcome to Mommysavers!

 

I also would probably let them continue watching him.  He is so young right now and having his grandparents, who obviously adore him and care for him very much, seems like a very positive thing.  If they were my parents, I might sit down with them and tell them  that I don't mind them occasionally offering him special treats, but that it would mean so much if they could at least feed him the lunches you provide.  An occasional stop at Burger King will not have an affect on him. 

 

I can see where you are torn, though.  It's hard having your rules so blatantly disregarded, but it seems your Mom is just being a typical grandmother--spoiling her grandson. 

I would send him to daycare 3 days a week and have your mom watch him 2 days. It is the best of both worlds and to be honest, your mom might appreciate the break too. We did this with my oldest ds when he was young nd it worked well for everyone.

Welcome.

 

I agree. Not only has their disregard for your rules not harmed him permanently, but they raised you and you turned out okay. I'm with you on the health issues and would be royally P.O.'ed at them feeding him fast food and junk food but he is going to be under your influence a lot more than he is under theirs. My husband used to work closely with a cardiologist - a super healthy guy. Hubby and the doctor would sometimes go to Dennys for breakfast and each have the Grand Slam! I asked the doctor why he would encourage my hubby to eat like that. He said, "I remind him all the time that I can eat like that because I do it only very rarely. The rest of the time I eat very well." Well, my husband eats like that all the time; thanks for setting such a great example. It is sort of the same win your situation. Going to your parents is a break from the usual routine but rest assured you ARE the usual. Nobody replaces you as the mom.

 

Budget-wise I'd transition him slowly. He is still young so there is no rush to get him into preschool. Don't be surprised if your parents fight you on the preschool attendance, though. That is where I'd draw the line. If they don't take him to preschool and make him miss days, I'd find other arrangements.

I'd suck it up too. It isn't forever but the bond he is developing with his grandparents is. Good luck. My mom rarely listens to my rules for my children but I figure it is grandma time and they both love her dearly. My mother is older and I know she won't be around forever.

I agree with what most of the others have said.  The time bonding with two loving grandparents is worth a few unhealthy meals here and there (which won't cause permanent harm).  You are lucky that they are still willing and able to care for your son.