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wwyd?

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 

I have a (not super close)  friend that has a daughter a little older than ds.  She works year round.  I had mentioned a class that ds took in the summer that her dd might enjoy.  She then told me if I signed ds up for another class this fall, to let her know and I could drive them both.

 

I found this sort of assuming!  I don't really like the idea of first not even asking, it being assumed, but a lot of times after classes I don't go home right away.  I made stops for errands and the like, and having to cart someone who isn't my kid (although she is a great kid), doesn't appeal when I didn't offer.

 

I think if I sign ds up I just am not going to tell her, and if I get called on it, am just going to say, "Oh I didn't even think of that" just pretending the whole conversation never came up.  Would you find that assuming?

post #2 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormy View Post
I think if I sign ds up I just am not going to tell her, and if I get called on it, am just going to say, "Oh I didn't even think of that" just pretending the whole conversation never came up.  Would you find that assuming?

 

I'd do this. It WAS assuming of her.

post #3 of 21

I think it was down right rude of her to make that assumption. I wouldn't lie either though. I would ignore the fact that the conversation came up until she mentioned it. If she did I would say I have errands and appointments to do, and can't car pool at this time. 

post #4 of 21
It was assuming and I probably wouldn't mention it to the friend if I wasn't inclined to take them both.
post #5 of 21

I am with deemom on this one. I wouldn't sign her kid up for anything (heck she might asume that you will pay for it) and if she asks why, I would tell her that most of the time I don't go straight home and I feel uncomfortable and can't handle two kids when I am doing stuff after wards.

post #6 of 21

I simply would have said AT THE TIME something along the lines of "I'll let you know if he takes a class in the fall, but I wouldn't be able to drive carpool. I generally combine the trip with all sorts of errands."

 

Then, it would have been clear right up front.

post #7 of 21
Thread Starter 

This was the same family that piggybacked their son's birthday "party" when we invited them over for a cookout that I wrote about in a previous post.  Oh wanted to add that in my first post when I read it, it seemed like I mentioned it to her and said, Oh your dd would like this.  I CAN see that as being somehow construed as "If you sign your dd up I could take both".  But I didn't.  I just mentioned it in passing that ds took the class.  She was the one to even say, "Since you'll be going that way anyway".   They have other kids and I know it's been a huge juggling act for her to work during the summer but that's sort of the way it goes.


Edited by Stormy - 8/22/12 at 8:21am
post #8 of 21

It is assuming and I would blow her off.  I wouldn't want to deal with whatever she said after I told her I wasn't driving her kid.

post #9 of 21

A parent of one of ds's friends has done this twice, but she asks if I can drive her husband and two children, and before I had my minivan she would ask for me to drive their car so we could all fit! (her husband is foreign and just recently got his driver's license so he only drives close distances right now). I just don't mention the activity to her again and it's never been an issue.

post #10 of 21

It is very assuming and actually kind of rude. I do agree with the other posts though that you need to be upfront and let her know that you are not able to car pool.

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