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Four Year old Temper Tantrums

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
My four year old has the worst temper tantrums. If he does not get his way he screams and throws himself in the floor. I believe part of the problem is not enough sleep, but I have done everything possible for him to sleep more, go to be early, he wakes up earlier ect...and still nothing. Anyone else deal with this??? How did you handle it. Any advice is appriciated.
post #2 of 16
I have absolutely no experience with this, so don't put a whole lot of stock into my suggestion, but... have you tried just walking away? Will he continue the tantrum if no one is there to see/hear him? My aunt told me her son (my older cousin) did this when he was little like that, but when she left the room and he realized there was no point anymore, he just stopped.
post #3 of 16
Thread Starter 
I have done this at home, but most of the tantrums are in public. It is so hard to disipline a child in public without all the stares. It does not matter how you handle it in public, it is tough. Thanks for all advice in advance.
post #4 of 16
Oh, I know this so well! I recommend the 1-2-3 magic dvd from the library. They have a book too, but who has time to read with small children! You can go to your library's web site and have them hold it for you. If you have kids like mine, you don't have the luxury of looking while at the library. He probably has sensed that you are uncomfortable with correcting him in public because of other people and is working it to his advantage. I went through this with mine. But I called him on it, I told him when we entered the store, I pointed to a spot and told him if he missed behaved he would have a time out. He did throw one and i did put him in time out and told him ,loud enough for onlookers to hear "the same rules apply here as they do at home", He only did this one more time, then it stopped.
post #5 of 16
We've had some pretty terrible tantrums here. They're with our 3 year old and time-outs work really good with him. I know that you can't do that out in public, but at home it's definately an option. He'll cry and throw fits and we'll just make him go to his room until he's done with his "fit". We'll check in on him and ask him if he's done and he'll say yes. Then he'll tell us sorry and he'll explain to us why he went into time out. If he's not able to explain, then we help him understand what he did is wrong. Then we give hugs (the best part, lol). Hope that you find something that works for you!
post #6 of 16
My 4 yr old has only recently started throwing tantrums. I noticed she has been testing us especially since I began working outside the home for a while. She KNOWS she can get away with this kind of behavior with Daddy. Mommy is not so easy. I just tell her straight out, "You know that Mommy does not allow this behavior, absolutely not" and I put her on time out.

Time outs were losing their effect after too many warnings and not much follow through on my part. Once I realized this I made sure to put her on time out as soon as she needed it. I also made sure that time out was in a place she would consider really boring. She gets no toys or anything at all to fiddle with while she is on time out. This seems to be working.
Thank Goodness!

At the stores, I just have to force myself not to care what others think. I find a quiet spot and put her on time out there. DD can definitely pick up on whether I am embarrassed or not and she works it. I just have to make sure I feel confident in what I am doing.
post #7 of 16
Duct tape them to the ceiling!

Calm down everybody! I'm just kidding (sorta). Brandon is also 4 and is in the temper tantrum stage. I read an article in one of the many parenting magazines I get that was very helpful. Here's how it works: Repeat what they are asking to confirm communication. Then redirect them.

Example, temper tantrum before dinner because he wants a cookie. Get down on his level and say "Cookie, you want a cookie?" Usually the child stops the tantrum because he hears the goal he is after. He then recongizes you understand what he wants. Then you can say "Would you like to help me? Then you can have a cookie later". The goal is that the kid is having a meltdown because he is trying to communicate what he wants.

It works for me about 2/3 of the time. The other 1/3 requires the duct tape (KIDDING!!!!!)
post #8 of 16
Hey Tonia!!
Ugh, sorry you are having to deal with this. The way I handled all my kids when they acted this way at home was by acting in total disbelief. I would just look at them and tell them that their behavior was not acceptable and that they were not going to behave that way. Then they would go to their room and stay their until they were done crying. It didn't take very long to break them from tantrums. As far as in public, when my kids were about three Dh and I started pointing out to them all the kids that misbehaved when we were in public. I would just tell them that the other kids behavior was not acceptable. And that when kids act that way others think that they are brats and don't want to be around them. This actually work. Not one of my kids has ever thrown a tantrum in public. As a matter of fact they will just look at the kid who is with a look on their face of "what is wrong with you!".

Another thing you might want to try. When I was little I threw one tantrum in public. My mom told me that she would not take me to the store the next time she went. Sure enough even though I was crying a river because I wanted to go she left me at home. I never threw another tantrum again.

One more thing. If he is throwing a tantrum because he wants something never ever ever give in and buy it for him. It will just reinforce to him that he will get his way if he throws a tantrum.

I hope this helps you.
post #9 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by TommysMommy View Post

Duct tape them to the ceiling!

I had a friend who recommended Velcro suits and paneling!!!! LOL WHen things get bad I always lighten it up with that joke. I can't help but chuckle at the thought.
post #10 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by othermomma View Post

Hey Tonia!!
Ugh, sorry you are having to deal with this. The way I handled all my kids when they acted this way at home was by acting in total disbelief. I would just look at them and tell them that their behavior was not acceptable and that they were not going to behave that way. Then they would go to their room and stay their until they were done crying. It didn't take very long to break them from tantrums. As far as in public, when my kids were about three Dh and I started pointing out to them all the kids that misbehaved when we were in public. I would just tell them that the other kids behavior was not acceptable. And that when kids act that way others think that they are brats and don't want to be around them. This actually work. Not one of my kids has ever thrown a tantrum in public. As a matter of fact they will just look at the kid who is with a look on their face of "what is wrong with you!".

Another thing you might want to try. When I was little I threw one tantrum in public. My mom told me that she would not take me to the store the next time she went. Sure enough even though I was crying a river because I wanted to go she left me at home. I never threw another tantrum again.

One more thing. If he is throwing a tantrum because he wants something never ever ever give in and buy it for him. It will just reinforce to him that he will get his way if he throws a tantrum.

I hope this helps you.

Nicely put! Ditto.
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