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Four Year old Temper Tantrums - Page 2

post #11 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by othermomma View Post

Hey Tonia!!
Ugh, sorry you are having to deal with this. The way I handled all my kids when they acted this way at home was by acting in total disbelief. I would just look at them and tell them that their behavior was not acceptable and that they were not going to behave that way. Then they would go to their room and stay their until they were done crying. It didn't take very long to break them from tantrums. As far as in public, when my kids were about three Dh and I started pointing out to them all the kids that misbehaved when we were in public. I would just tell them that the other kids behavior was not acceptable. And that when kids act that way others think that they are brats and don't want to be around them. This actually work. Not one of my kids has ever thrown a tantrum in public. As a matter of fact they will just look at the kid who is with a look on their face of "what is wrong with you!".

Another thing you might want to try. When I was little I threw one tantrum in public. My mom told me that she would not take me to the store the next time she went. Sure enough even though I was crying a river because I wanted to go she left me at home. I never threw another tantrum again.

One more thing. If he is throwing a tantrum because he wants something never ever ever give in and buy it for him. It will just reinforce to him that he will get his way if he throws a tantrum.

I hope this helps you.


Same here. I've also been known to take my child who is acting up (never a tantrum but other undesirable behavior) in public out to the van where they get a stern reprimand for their behavior. Of course, being removed is embarassing, so that affects them. I had to take each child out to the van 1 time, then I would just have to say, "Do we need to take a trip to the van?" and all unwanted behavior would stop.
post #12 of 16
I am having this same problem, over the last couple of weeks my 4 1/2 y.o. daughter has started in the mornings because she wants to stay home and play or come to work with me. I have the abilities to watch her on camera all day long, stay in constant contact with her teachers, so it is not the school, just her wanting to stay home and watch movies and play dress up. Which is exactly what she tells me and the teacher when questioned. This week was the worst and took me almost two hours to get her into school because she refused to get dressed.
We are not doing a "behavior" chore chart and that is working, but it is like once she gets started it gets worse until trying to calm her down is almost impossible. One thing I read and I am trying is to sit with them maybe not talk to them but just sit with them until they calm down, but not to leave them alone as that will make it worse. I will be reading all the suggestions here because at this point I will not be taking her anywhere in public with me for a while.
Thanks
Heather
post #13 of 16

Hi, I have similar problem with my 4 yr old son.From last few days he has started all shits in public & at home also.If we dont get agree with him he shouts loudly...say mama bad..or papa bad...very embarassing for us...even in shop he wants to buy the things which is not at all required for anybody...first we try to convience him why we dont want that..he listens carefully..he replies i understand but then also i want it because someone has purchased in front of him so he wants it...in this situation if we dont get him then he will get angry...loud shouting...mama-papa bad..all nonsense...please advise..i really need help...

post #14 of 16

This is the stage where they are really pushing their boundaries. They are figuring out how to manipulate their world and the people in it. First we only take him places where if he misbehaves we can discipline him there. I do not take him out of the store or restaurant because nine times out of ten that is just what he wants. So it does not end up being a punishment. I will use any isolated spot for a thinking spot. I make him sit down and stand there with my back to him. If he gets up I put him back in the spot, I continue this till he has calmed down. There is no talking to a four year old when they are that upset. LOL! After he has calmed down I explain what behavior was unacceptable or a bad choice. We do not say he is bad that he is making bad choices. Then we explain what some good choices are. Usually after that we have no problems out of him.

As for buying him things we do not have that problem anymore. He earns a dollar a week taking recyclables out to the can, and I put it in his wallet every Friday. If he does not do the chore he does not get his dollar. A hard lesson he learned this week, when he decided he would rather play and let Daddy take them out.(We did not have so many last week, so i went until Friday) So I put the dollar in Daddy's wallet. He was very upset, but when I asked him to take them out the next day he was more than happy to earn his dollar this week. When we go to the store I make him get his wallet and take it with us. When he asks for something we discuss how much it is and if he has enough dollars. This is a good money lesson. We have also found when it is his money to spend he is less likely to ask for something just to get something.

I hope some of this helps!!
 

post #15 of 16

Thank you very much
 

post #16 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by rysmom69 View Post

I am having this same problem, over the last couple of weeks my 4 1/2 y.o. daughter has started in the mornings because she wants to stay home and play or come to work with me. I have the abilities to watch her on camera all day long, stay in constant contact with her teachers, so it is not the school, just her wanting to stay home and watch movies and play dress up. Which is exactly what she tells me and the teacher when questioned. This week was the worst and took me almost two hours to get her into school because she refused to get dressed.
We are not doing a "behavior" chore chart and that is working, but it is like once she gets started it gets worse until trying to calm her down is almost impossible. One thing I read and I am trying is to sit with them maybe not talk to them but just sit with them until they calm down, but not to leave them alone as that will make it worse. I will be reading all the suggestions here because at this point I will not be taking her anywhere in public with me for a while.
Thanks
Heather

 

Years ago my youngest brother used to also do this. What is worse is that he was starting to make us late for school as well. Eventually my mom had enough. She packed an extra sandwich for the car for him, and his pre-school clothes in his bag. If he did not want to get ready in the mornings - Fine. The car left at 7 and he went as he was.

 

The first day he thought my mom was joking, the second day he tested her again. By Friday he was the first to get dressed and be ready.

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