Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (anniebananie @ July 17 2006,09:31)]
Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] ]**Before I resume answering you all, I just wanted to let you all know that he didn't even call me today. Â*I have been crying almost all day. Â*I can't eat. Â*I couldn't fall asleep until, like, 3 this a.m. Â*Why do I love him so much and why can't he love me? Â*What's wrong with ME?
OK. Â*Let's get one thing clear, right now. Â*THERE IS NOTHING, AND I REPEAT NOTHING, THAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. Â*
Let's look at the facts. Â*
You are staying at home, poor as a church mouse, trying to raise his three children and keep a marriage together. Â*
He is living the bachelor life, drinking with buddies, whoring around, and then tells you that he doesn't have enough cash to put gas in the car. Â*
I think it's pretty clear as to what is wrong with whom, and it ain't you baby.
It's okay to cry. Â*You're crying for so many reasons - you are angry, hurt, confused, and it's okay. Â*But it's not okay to blame yourself, because this isn't your fault. Â*Your husband has abused you and the children and has broken his marriage vows. Â*He is not a man. Â*He has no honor, and should be hanging his head in shame and begging your forgiveness. Â*He is not worthy of you or your love. Â*You know it and I know it. Â*
You are in a co-dependent relationship that can only change if you are willing to change your behavior in that relationship. Â*That may simply mean changing the rules between the two of you - that may mean kicking him to the curb. Â*
Whatever decision you make must not be taken lightly and must be thought through. Â*When you get to that point, let us know, because the women on this board are a wellspring of good advice. Â*
And I have rambled enough for now. Â*I will call you on my drive home. Â*I hope you can take a nap today. Â*Oh, and go hug your children and tell them how much you love them.
Lisa...it's been said befor ebut it needs to get said again. PLEASE get tested! You'll also need to get tested again in 6 months. It's your health at risk. He did this to you with his actions. This is just another way he can hurt you physically.
I have heard this before and heard Dr. Joy Brown say it this weekend on the radio: Anything you do while you are drunk is something that you wished you could do while sober.
The minute he put himself into the situation it was cheating. He just took it to the next level and now it effects your physical wellbeing as much as your emotional.
It sounds to me like he's already checked out of this marriage. He's just too much of a coward to do anything about it and wants to make you the bad guy because "She couldn't get passed my faults." or "She didn't love me enough to make it work.". It's classic alcoholic and abusive behavior.
I am sorry that this is all piling up on you. It's also scary how similar your story is to my mom's. I think the only difference I see is that you have your dad here and we were stuck over in Germany. Lean on your family and please do not be afraid to tell them everything. They love you and want to be there for you.
We are also here for you. I think about you and your children often and hope that you are safe. Youhave no idea the releif I felt when I saw that you had posted. Even if it was bad news...it was better than no news and being worried about your safety.
Prayers, love & support...
p.s. I can PM you my number again if you want it.