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My heart is breaking. - Page 10

post #91 of 148
7/17/06 at 12:06pm
Thread Starter 
Hi, everybody. Gosh, I love you guys. I'm at the library right now and just got through reading all the pm's and all these replies. It feels so good to be cared about so much. Y'all are making me feel better about myself. Only I have a feeling that if dh does call me today this small shred of hope I'm feeling will be gone.

I want to change. I want to leave him at least for a while and make him see what he's doing. But I don't know what I should say...I think I'll just DO. I'm gonna look for a p/t job, look into college options, if any. I've got to. My kids need me.

I'm still very sad, hurt, angry, confused, etc. But I'm still standing, and God had me wake up this a.m., so He's got me here for a purpose, I know that for sure.

I will try to catch up with everything more tonight. Gotta go now.

I love, love, love y'all so very much!!! Thank you all for the support.

~Lisa
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post #92 of 148
7/17/06 at 12:11pm
I have to say you are one strong woman Lisa!!!
Good for you!
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post #93 of 148
7/17/06 at 12:19pm
Saying prayers for you....
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post #94 of 148
7/17/06 at 12:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by [b View Post

Quote[/b] ]Only I have a feeling that if dh does call me today this small shred of hope I'm feeling will be gone.

Only if you let him. If you don't let him, then he can't take your strength away. Remember, you have the power and control over your own feelings. He doesn't.

Quote:
Originally Posted by [b View Post

Quote[/b] ]I want to change. I want to leave him at least for a while and make him see what he's doing. But I don't know what I should say...I think I'll just DO. I'm gonna look for a p/t job, look into college options, if any. I've got to. My kids need me.

Honey, you don't have to leave him, you kick him out. You are living with your daddy. You have a safe place for you and the kids. You simply tell him not to come home, and make sure that at least 70% of his paycheck is deposited into YOUR checking account. And don't let him bully you. Tell him that when he can be a MAN and a FATHER to his children, then you will talk to him. Until then, YOUR children don't need his influence.

And yes, you should go out and get a p/t job - go to temp agencies and see what is out there; also look into community colleges. They offer financial aid based on financial need. Apply. You are smart. You can do anything you set your mind to. You just need to believe in yourself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by [b View Post

Quote[/b] ]I'm still very sad, hurt, angry, confused, etc. But I'm still standing, and God had me wake up this a.m., so He's got me here for a purpose, I know that for sure.

You are going to be hurt, angry, sad, confused for a while. That is normal. When the feeling strikes, go with it. And yes, God has you here for a purpose. Maybe he's opening a door for you right now and you don't even know it.
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post #95 of 148
7/17/06 at 1:14pm
Lisa, I hope everything works out! I know it will take time, but everything has a upside and it will only get better!!!
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post #96 of 148
7/17/06 at 1:27pm
Lisa, Anniebananie just said everything I was going to say! She is very wise:D Do what you have to do for you and your kiddos. I know you have the strength. God will revel his purpose for all of this later.
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post #97 of 148
7/17/06 at 2:10pm
Lisa, if you take some time away from him, you might find out that you really do not love him, but are in love with the feeling of loving someone and not being alone. It more of the routine of your family life.
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post #98 of 148
7/17/06 at 2:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by [b View Post

Quote[/b] (marikay @ July 17 2006,17:10)]Lisa, if you take some time away from him, you might find out that you really do not love him, but are in love with the feeling of loving someone and not being alone. It more of the routine of your family life.

I've thought this too, along with you may just be happy once you let go of him and all the pain. You may be relieved and wonder why you didn't do it sooner.
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post #99 of 148
7/17/06 at 5:09pm
Wow, you will make it through this, do it for a better life for you and your kids. You are right, they need you right now. Big Hugs~
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post #100 of 148
7/17/06 at 5:27pm
Hey.. I go to college, community college - I can say the best route, for me, is check out their online degrees. I'm getting mine over the internet and it's the same program, it never mentions the online part on your degree either. Go to the financial aide department, you can file your FASFA in january (at this point,all the FED money is gone) and look at the library - they have a huge book dedicated to scholarships and you can check online at FASTWEB.COM.

That's my help for School. It's worth it to even work to get an Assotiates degree.

Good luck. all of the girls are here for ya!
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