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When you go to a friends house ...

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
... how do you keep the "Forget the Jones" attitude in check?

Last night we were over at friends and, while they have their problems and I am aware of their problems, I found myself mentally looking around their home and thinking, "They have that, that, and that. And I ONLY have that." What is gal to do?
post #2 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by melsb View Post

... how do you keep the "Forget the Jones" attitude in check?

Last night we were over at friends and, while they have their problems and I am aware of their problems, I found myself mentally looking around their home and thinking, "They have that, that, and that. And I ONLY have that." What is gal to do?

yea, they might have all that, but think on the bright side, they have all of the extra bills too
post #3 of 27
I know what you mean. I have no idea how some of our friends afford the "bling". It is none of my business but it makes me wonder what we are doing wrong.
post #4 of 27
Dh and I talk about this sometimes. We figure all that bling costs money, and it's gotta' come from somewhere so they must be in massive debt. At least that's what we tell ourselves.
post #5 of 27
Yes, all that stuff costs money. Some people have that kind of money and can afford big houses, newer cars, and nice furniture. I don't automatically assume they're in debt. Some people simply have bigger paychecks than we do (or inherited money).

I think being jealous or assuming there is debt involved creates a negative thought pattern about people and money. I try to be happy for them for what they have, realizing that one day if we have more money as a family we can have some of those things too.

That said, sometimes it is hard to keep the green-eyed monster in check. When I look around at my own blessings, it makes me feel better. I also realize that after you are making enough to provide for your needs, money does little in the way to increase happiness. I look at the non-material things that provide real happiness and joy in my own life and realize that those are the things that really matter.
post #6 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim View Post

Yes, all that stuff costs money. Some people have that kind of money and can afford big houses, newer cars, and nice furniture. I don't automatically assume they're in debt. Some people simply have bigger paychecks than we do (or inherited money).

I think being jealous or assuming there is debt involved creates a negative thought pattern about people and money.

ITA

I guess I just don't have that mindset at all when it comes to my family and friends. I never compare, it never occurs to me to do that. I hope that none of my family/friends look around my house and think that maybe some things we have is because we're in debt (which we're not) or other negative things. I certainly don't do that when I am in their houses...I'm am honestly joyful about what my friends/family "has"...
post #7 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by melsb View Post

... how do you keep the "Forget the Jones" attitude in check?

Last night we were over at friends and, while they have their problems and I am aware of their problems, I found myself mentally looking around their home and thinking, "They have that, that, and that. And I ONLY have that." What is gal to do?

You have two healthy children a good husband a nice home and MommySavers! You have more than a lot of people. I always remind myself that no matter what I have there will always be someone with more and there will always be someone with less. Having more "stuff" will not make any of us happier.
post #8 of 27
I don't worry this much about that either. We live in a community where MOST people have more than us. Most of my dd's friends always had houses that looked like they could have been in magazines and vacationed numerous times per year in Europe, etc. We never had that much, but I didn't begrudge them having it. I think if people work hard and make the money they should be able to spend it and enjoy it. We have more than enough and more than the average person and that's enough for me. I grew up poor and am just satisfied without having to "meet the Joneses". Life's too short to be unhappy wanting what everyone else has. I'm just content with however much I have.
post #9 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by soucyx6 View Post

You have two healthy children a good husband a nice home and MommySavers! You have more than a lot of people. I always remind myself that no matter what I have there will always be someone with more and there will always be someone with less. Having more "stuff" will not make any of us happier.

Thanks everyone! This especially made me chuckle.
post #10 of 27
Whenever I've felt jealous or bad about not being able to have something, I'll see someone who is in worse shape. That really makes me take the time to count our blessings.
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