Step #64: Money Talk and How You Influence Your Kids
How do your views on money influence your kids? What you say (or what you don’t say) can have a big impact on your kids’ financial attitudes.
How many of you had parents that said things like, “Money doesn’t grow on trees!†or “Money is the root of all evil!†How did the views of your parents influence how you look at money? Were you raised to believe that no matter how hard you work, there is never enough? That the rich are greedy? That it is hard to earn a lot of money? Think back and see if you can remember how your parents communicated their beliefs about money. Now, think how you are doing the same thing with your own children.
Choice = Empowerment
There is a fine line between being honest with your kids and evoking fear, especially when you’re having financial trouble. Even if money is tight you don’t have to tell kids, “We can’t afford it†or “We’re broke.†When you choose that kind of language, you’re reinforcing lack over choice.
Instead, consider reinforcing the fact that you have to make choices with your money. “We have $50 this week, so we’re choosing to buy groceries instead of going to the movies.†Or, “Because we chose to go to the movies last week, we have to wait until next month to go again.†When kids realize that choice is what impacts financial situation, they are empowered instead of scared. When it comes to their own money, reinforce your child’s choices. “If you choose to spend your money on candy, you won’t have enough to buy the toy you were saving for.â€
Appreciation = Respect
There can be no respect for money without appreciation for what money can do for you. Do your kids thank you when you take them places like the movies or to the zoo? Do they understand that without money, these things wouldn’t be possible? Are they appreciative for what they have?
Recently, I had trouble with my daughter throwing her new school clothes on her floor and not hanging them up. We immediately sat down and talked about the fact that we have to take care of what we have, and until she can learn to pick up her clothes there will be no more items from Limited Too.
The Joneses’ Kids
Sometime around kindergarten or first grade my daughter started noticing that some of her friends lived in bigger houses, had more toys, and got to do certain things that we didn’t. This was a great opportunity to teach her the lessons so many of the adults I know still struggle with. It was up to me to teach her positive attitudes instead of those of judgment, jealousy and lack.
“Wow, that’s great that Kaitlyn has that (inset the name of the latest toy or gadget)! You’re lucky that you can enjoy it with her when you go to her house.†When she started to feel bad about what she didn’t have, I pointed out to her all the wonderful blessings that we have – both material and non-material. Being happy with what you have (and happy for others for what they have) is a great view to reinforce in your children and will help them as they grow older.
These are just a few examples of issues that come up in parenting and passing on financial views to your children. What you say and how you say it does have a big impact.
How do your views on money influence your kids? What you say (or what you don’t say) can have a big impact on your kids’ financial attitudes.
How many of you had parents that said things like, “Money doesn’t grow on trees!†or “Money is the root of all evil!†How did the views of your parents influence how you look at money? Were you raised to believe that no matter how hard you work, there is never enough? That the rich are greedy? That it is hard to earn a lot of money? Think back and see if you can remember how your parents communicated their beliefs about money. Now, think how you are doing the same thing with your own children.
Choice = Empowerment
There is a fine line between being honest with your kids and evoking fear, especially when you’re having financial trouble. Even if money is tight you don’t have to tell kids, “We can’t afford it†or “We’re broke.†When you choose that kind of language, you’re reinforcing lack over choice.
Instead, consider reinforcing the fact that you have to make choices with your money. “We have $50 this week, so we’re choosing to buy groceries instead of going to the movies.†Or, “Because we chose to go to the movies last week, we have to wait until next month to go again.†When kids realize that choice is what impacts financial situation, they are empowered instead of scared. When it comes to their own money, reinforce your child’s choices. “If you choose to spend your money on candy, you won’t have enough to buy the toy you were saving for.â€
Appreciation = Respect
There can be no respect for money without appreciation for what money can do for you. Do your kids thank you when you take them places like the movies or to the zoo? Do they understand that without money, these things wouldn’t be possible? Are they appreciative for what they have?
Recently, I had trouble with my daughter throwing her new school clothes on her floor and not hanging them up. We immediately sat down and talked about the fact that we have to take care of what we have, and until she can learn to pick up her clothes there will be no more items from Limited Too.
The Joneses’ Kids
Sometime around kindergarten or first grade my daughter started noticing that some of her friends lived in bigger houses, had more toys, and got to do certain things that we didn’t. This was a great opportunity to teach her the lessons so many of the adults I know still struggle with. It was up to me to teach her positive attitudes instead of those of judgment, jealousy and lack.
“Wow, that’s great that Kaitlyn has that (inset the name of the latest toy or gadget)! You’re lucky that you can enjoy it with her when you go to her house.†When she started to feel bad about what she didn’t have, I pointed out to her all the wonderful blessings that we have – both material and non-material. Being happy with what you have (and happy for others for what they have) is a great view to reinforce in your children and will help them as they grow older.
These are just a few examples of issues that come up in parenting and passing on financial views to your children. What you say and how you say it does have a big impact.
