Mommysavers › Forums › General Discussion › Family Matters › How would you handle an unwanted "surprise" guest??
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

How would you handle an unwanted "surprise" guest??  

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
First a little background: (sorry if this gets long)

I have talked about these people on this board before but a LONG time ago. There is this couple that used to be friends with my parents, and they are the kind of friends you would call, moochers. Then when my parents divorced, they kinda "clung" to my first husband and myself, by then they had two kids that were about the same age as my two kids. Well, then when my first husband and myself got a divorce, they "clung" to him. No big deal, my basic reation was good riddance, never really liked hanging out with them in the first place except that they ALWAYS just showed up unannouced. Kinda like Cousin Eddie in Christmas Vacation.

I have a HUGE problem with my kids even hanging out with these people, because I know for a FACT that they talk bad about me to them (because they tell me). Of course they don't believe it, which is good, and I can't really control who my Ex hangs out with. (as long as I dont' have to see them I am happy) ALSO, my Ex KNOWS how I feel about all of this.

Ok, fast forward, my older two children were at their Dad's this weekend. They are supposed to be dropped off at 5:30 but my EX is ALWAYS late, so I called to see if they would be home for dinner. (We always eat between 5:00-5:30 on Sunday's and I was calling to see if we should wait for them). Well I hear someone yelling in the background, so I say to my son "who is that?", his reply THAT COUPLE! So I just roll my eyes, and finish the conversation.

So my husband and I sit down with the baby to eat dinner (the older kids were not going to be home for dinner as they already ate at their Dad's), a quiet dinner mind you. And the next thing I know there is someone at my door, ringing the door bell over and over again. We have glass front doors, so I can see that it is this MAN. Well, now I am fuming. So my husband goes to answer the door, and this person, pulls the door open and tries to just barge into our house. Well, my DH is a pretty big guy, so he pulls the door shut, gets my DD in the house, and tells this guy that he will tell me that he is here.

I try to call my EX's cell phone to tell him to just get the guy out of here...and he won't answer. By the way, my EX is the one who DROVE this guy to my house, since he was bringing the kids home.

So, I nicely say to my DD (who is 13) can you please go tell your Dad that we are in the middle of dinner and that I am not coming outside right now (again because my Ex will not answer his phone and I don't want them hanging around in my driveway). I hated to put my DD in the middle of that, and it gets worse....the GUY says to my DD....is your step-dad always that mean? Is he mean to you kids?? Which just infuriates me to no end. That was completely uncalled for!!!

This guy shows up at my door knowing full well that I don't want to see him...my EX brings the guy here knowing that I don't want to see him....and we may not have handled it the best way, but we were totally caught off guard. And then he wants to put ideas in my DD's head about my DH!! I am livid to say the least.

Ok, maybe this turned out to be a HUGE vent. Because I don't think there is anything more I can even do at this point. Talking to my EX isn't going to get me anywhere. UGH!! I am just so mad!

So, how would you handle an UNWANTED SURPRISE guest??
post #2 of 10
I would have done what you did, and be happy you have a strong DH that can keep him out. As for his comments, well, I hope your DD knows that what the guy did was uncalled for, maybe just chat with her to make sure. After all you were eating dinner, and the guy was in the wrong to attempt to enter without permission. Heck, even our parents KNOCK first and only enter when we yell to come in, or they will open the door and yell for us before just waltzing in. Our friends and neighbors do not come in unless we invite them to come in.

I think its a great opportunity to teach your kids about respectfully entering a home - and that what the guy did was completely disrespectful and you will expect better of your family. I'd also tell you ex-DH if he pulls that stunt again you'll call the cops on the guy and have him arrested for trespassing.
post #3 of 10
Why was the guy trying to come to your house?
post #4 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by melsb View Post

Why was the guy trying to come to your house?

I was wondering this too. It almost sounds like he was drunk.
post #5 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by melsb View Post

Why was the guy trying to come to your house?

Well, I don't know the exact reason, since I did not talk to him this time around...but my guess is (going on past experiences), is that he wanted to say "hi" and pretend like we are long lost best friends, and wonder when I would be taking him to dinner while he was in town. They live out of state. He honestly hasn't tried coming over here in probably two years...so I figured he finally got the message and would never come back. I have also had SEVERAL conversations with my EX about these people, as they have been in town several times in between these "visits" to my house.

I did end up sending an email to my EX, and he has sincerely apologized for what happened yesterday. So I am hopeful that this will NEVER happen again.
post #6 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by booker81 View Post

I would have done what you did, and be happy you have a strong DH that can keep him out. As for his comments, well, I hope your DD knows that what the guy did was uncalled for, maybe just chat with her to make sure. After all you were eating dinner, and the guy was in the wrong to attempt to enter without permission. Heck, even our parents KNOCK first and only enter when we yell to come in, or they will open the door and yell for us before just waltzing in. Our friends and neighbors do not come in unless we invite them to come in.

I think its a great opportunity to teach your kids about respectfully entering a home - and that what the guy did was completely disrespectful and you will expect better of your family. I'd also tell you ex-DH if he pulls that stunt again you'll call the cops on the guy and have him arrested for trespassing.

Thank you.

I did end up emailing my EX and he has apologized so there is hope for the future.
post #7 of 10
I wished i had your EX's home address. I would set him up on a mailing list for some Gay Pride magazines,Swinger's magazine or S&M catalogs. LOL, that guy is such a jerk he just provokes a revenge plot in me!
post #8 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Country~mouse View Post

I wished i had your EX's home address. I would set him up on a mailing list for some Gay Pride magazines,Swinger's magazine or S&M catalogs. LOL, that guy is such a jerk he just provokes a revenge plot in me!

I'll PM it to you! Just kidding! Actually NOW he is being understanding about the situation, so that is good. I just wish he would have called me in the first place, and this whole situation could have been avoided.
post #9 of 10
People who attempt to walk into my house uninvited find that the door hurts when it hits them in the face.

My parents and M'ija have keys to my house, and they knock and wait for us to open the door and say "Come in" before putting a foot across the threshhold. I have keys to my parents' and M'ija's house, and I knock and wait to be invited in.

In your conversations with the ex, I would make it clear that under NO circumstances is he ever to bring this person to your house again.
post #10 of 10
I think BucsandPats has gotten the advice she was looking for so I'm going to lock this thread. Thank you!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Family Matters
This thread is locked  
Mommysavers › Forums › General Discussion › Family Matters › How would you handle an unwanted "surprise" guest??