First a little background: (sorry if this gets long)
I have talked about these people on this board before but a LONG time ago. There is this couple that used to be friends with my parents, and they are the kind of friends you would call, moochers. Then when my parents divorced, they kinda "clung" to my first husband and myself, by then they had two kids that were about the same age as my two kids. Well, then when my first husband and myself got a divorce, they "clung" to him. No big deal, my basic reation was good riddance, never really liked hanging out with them in the first place except that they ALWAYS just showed up unannouced. Kinda like Cousin Eddie in Christmas Vacation.
I have a HUGE problem with my kids even hanging out with these people, because I know for a FACT that they talk bad about me to them (because they tell me). Of course they don't believe it, which is good, and I can't really control who my Ex hangs out with. (as long as I dont' have to see them I am happy) ALSO, my Ex KNOWS how I feel about all of this.
Ok, fast forward, my older two children were at their Dad's this weekend. They are supposed to be dropped off at 5:30 but my EX is ALWAYS late, so I called to see if they would be home for dinner. (We always eat between 5:00-5:30 on Sunday's and I was calling to see if we should wait for them). Well I hear someone yelling in the background, so I say to my son "who is that?", his reply THAT COUPLE! So I just roll my eyes, and finish the conversation.
So my husband and I sit down with the baby to eat dinner (the older kids were not going to be home for dinner as they already ate at their Dad's), a quiet dinner mind you. And the next thing I know there is someone at my door, ringing the door bell over and over again. We have glass front doors, so I can see that it is this MAN. Well, now I am fuming. So my husband goes to answer the door, and this person, pulls the door open and tries to just barge into our house. Well, my DH is a pretty big guy, so he pulls the door shut, gets my DD in the house, and tells this guy that he will tell me that he is here.
I try to call my EX's cell phone to tell him to just get the guy out of here...and he won't answer. By the way, my EX is the one who DROVE this guy to my house, since he was bringing the kids home.
So, I nicely say to my DD (who is 13) can you please go tell your Dad that we are in the middle of dinner and that I am not coming outside right now (again because my Ex will not answer his phone and I don't want them hanging around in my driveway). I hated to put my DD in the middle of that, and it gets worse....the GUY says to my DD....is your step-dad always that mean? Is he mean to you kids?? Which just infuriates me to no end. That was completely uncalled for!!!
This guy shows up at my door knowing full well that I don't want to see him...my EX brings the guy here knowing that I don't want to see him....and we may not have handled it the best way, but we were totally caught off guard. And then he wants to put ideas in my DD's head about my DH!! I am livid to say the least.
Ok, maybe this turned out to be a HUGE vent. Because I don't think there is anything more I can even do at this point. Talking to my EX isn't going to get me anywhere. UGH!!
I am just so mad!
So, how would you handle an UNWANTED SURPRISE guest??
I have talked about these people on this board before but a LONG time ago. There is this couple that used to be friends with my parents, and they are the kind of friends you would call, moochers. Then when my parents divorced, they kinda "clung" to my first husband and myself, by then they had two kids that were about the same age as my two kids. Well, then when my first husband and myself got a divorce, they "clung" to him. No big deal, my basic reation was good riddance, never really liked hanging out with them in the first place except that they ALWAYS just showed up unannouced. Kinda like Cousin Eddie in Christmas Vacation.
I have a HUGE problem with my kids even hanging out with these people, because I know for a FACT that they talk bad about me to them (because they tell me). Of course they don't believe it, which is good, and I can't really control who my Ex hangs out with. (as long as I dont' have to see them I am happy) ALSO, my Ex KNOWS how I feel about all of this.
Ok, fast forward, my older two children were at their Dad's this weekend. They are supposed to be dropped off at 5:30 but my EX is ALWAYS late, so I called to see if they would be home for dinner. (We always eat between 5:00-5:30 on Sunday's and I was calling to see if we should wait for them). Well I hear someone yelling in the background, so I say to my son "who is that?", his reply THAT COUPLE! So I just roll my eyes, and finish the conversation.
So my husband and I sit down with the baby to eat dinner (the older kids were not going to be home for dinner as they already ate at their Dad's), a quiet dinner mind you. And the next thing I know there is someone at my door, ringing the door bell over and over again. We have glass front doors, so I can see that it is this MAN. Well, now I am fuming. So my husband goes to answer the door, and this person, pulls the door open and tries to just barge into our house. Well, my DH is a pretty big guy, so he pulls the door shut, gets my DD in the house, and tells this guy that he will tell me that he is here.
I try to call my EX's cell phone to tell him to just get the guy out of here...and he won't answer. By the way, my EX is the one who DROVE this guy to my house, since he was bringing the kids home.
So, I nicely say to my DD (who is 13) can you please go tell your Dad that we are in the middle of dinner and that I am not coming outside right now (again because my Ex will not answer his phone and I don't want them hanging around in my driveway). I hated to put my DD in the middle of that, and it gets worse....the GUY says to my DD....is your step-dad always that mean? Is he mean to you kids?? Which just infuriates me to no end. That was completely uncalled for!!!
This guy shows up at my door knowing full well that I don't want to see him...my EX brings the guy here knowing that I don't want to see him....and we may not have handled it the best way, but we were totally caught off guard. And then he wants to put ideas in my DD's head about my DH!! I am livid to say the least.
Ok, maybe this turned out to be a HUGE vent. Because I don't think there is anything more I can even do at this point. Talking to my EX isn't going to get me anywhere. UGH!!
I am just so mad!So, how would you handle an UNWANTED SURPRISE guest??
Just kidding! Actually NOW he is being understanding about the situation, so that is good. I just wish he would have called me in the first place, and this whole situation could have been avoided.
