Kids Party
Etiquette for Parents: How to Handle Every Party Problem
by Patricia B.
Jensen
Invitations
The rule of thumb passed down by experienced Moms and
Dads is to invite the same number of party guests as
your child's age. Resist the temptation to invite every
child in your child's classroom. Be discrete and avoid
hurt feelings by mailing invitations home instead of
passing them out in school. A manageable party is a more
enjoyable one both for the party attendants and for you!
Party Time and Duration
An hour is sufficient for toddlers and pre-schoolers
when naptimes are still an issue. Plan your party when
the birthday child will be freshest and best able to
handle all the excitement, perhaps a morning brunch is
best.
For older school age children, a two to three hour party
at any time of day is a safe bet; evening parties and
sleep-overs are popular options for pre-teens.
RSVPs
Always include an RSVP date and phone number on your
party invitations. In the event of a guest failing to
RSVP, a cordial call on or after your RSVP date is
perfectly acceptable. Sometimes mail is delayed and
other mishaps occur, and you need to be sure that the
invitation was received. In addition, knowing the exact
guest count is necessary for planning purposes.
Gift Gaffes
Children may sometimes express their true, and not
necessarily polite, feelings about a gift they have
received. In advance of the party, explain to your child
that it's necessary to thank all the gift-givers with
equal enthusiasm, no matter what the gift. Impress upon
your him or her that each guest feels their gift is
special, and that it's the thought behind it that
counts.
If you plan to open gifts at the party, make it early
before kids are tired, cranky and hyped with sugar. Of
course, this issue can be avoided entirely by opening
the gifts after guests have departed, a time-saving
practice which prevents the embarrassment of the party
child making ungrateful comments.
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Competitive
Games
There's nothing wrong with good old-fashioned
competition; it gets the adrenalin going and cranks up
the excitement. Just make sure that the elements of each
game are manageable for the age group you are inviting.
A trial run with the party child prior to the party will
likely head off any problems.
In addition, small gifts such as a lollipop or small
trinket given to every player for completing the game is
preferable to awarding one large prize to the winner
only. Planning a craft activity or end-of-party reading
time will involve all the guests, even the quieter ones.
Siblings showing up uninvited
Be very clear on your party invitation by using the name
of the guest invited. Some people will ignore the
obvious and do what's convenient for them anyway, so
have a few extra goodie bags on hand for siblings who
just show up.
Back-up Plans
If you're having an outdoor party, it's good common
sense to have a rainy day alternative. Confirm your
entertainer one week before party time, but prepare a
handful of games you can orchestrate on your own, if
necessary. If a guest or two are late for the
festivities, don't delay your schedule but keep on as
planned. Although no-shows, delays, and inclement
weather are party bummers, you can still pull it off
like professional with a little advance preparation.
Party Child Misbehaving
Here's where some advance coaching is in order.
Emphasize the important role your child has as the party
host or hostess to make guests feel comfortable. Discuss
the responsibilities s/he will have such as greeting the
guests, showing them where to sit at the party table,
and handing out party favors.
Stress that through helping others enjoy the day, your
child will likely have a better time too. A gentle
reminder during the party should be all that's needed
once you've laid down the ground rules.
Guests Misbehaving
The party excitement, coupled with sugar intake, can
lead to tantrums, tears, and other misbehavior. Step
back a moment and try to handle these problems with
patience and diplomacy. A little attention and
redirection is sometimes all that's needed to remedy the
situation. Give the child a special job to do or make
them an honorary party helper.
If the behavior escalates, don't be afraid to separate
the child to a quiet room. Explain that bad behavior
will not be tolerated and that the parents will be
called to take him or her home if it continues.
Duplicate Gift Dilemma
If there's a gift receipt attached from a thoughtful
parent, you're golden. Otherwise, don't get into it with
another parent unless you can do so without causing
offense. You can try just returning the gift for store
credit, if you know where it was purchased. Or, stash it
away with the name of the original gift-giver taped to
it. This way you can recycle the gift, making sure it
goes to an entirely new (and hopefully appreciative)
child.
Thank You Notes
Thank you notes are an excellent way to promote good
manners and appreciation in your children. Not only are
they important social skill builders, they foster good
writing and creativity as well. Kids will learn to enjoy
writing thank you cards if you make it a fun project by
using colorful note cards and glittery gel pens or let
them design their own on the computer.
For younger children, it's okay for the parent to write
the note and have the party child sign it. The party
child could even draw a picture which Mom or Dad can
copy and send as a thank you. The "fill-in-the-blanks"
type thank you note are a great alternative too. Another
super idea is to include a picture of the guest taken
with the party child along with the thank you note.
Incidentally, it's critical to keep a careful list of
who-gave-what so thank you notes can be sent without
mix-ups.
Can Parents Stay?
If you're unsure if you can accompany your child to a
party, just be up front with the parents beforehand and
ask what their party plans are. The RSVP call is a great
time to ask questions. Most parents of younger children
know some kids are more comfortable with their parents
around and plan accordingly. (A pot of coffee and extra
cake or munchies for the adults.) Most parents will
offer to help if they stay an extra bonus for the
host/hostess!
Copyright 2005 Kids Party Paradise All Rights Reserved
About the Author:
Patricia B. Jensen is a mother
of three and kids party enthusiast. She is the webmaster and owner of
Kids-Party-Paradise.com - a complete resource for kids party ideas including
invitations, cakes, decorations, games, costumes, favors, and food.
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