Ahhhh, naptime, mom’s favorite time of day; a time to relax and rejuvenate while her little cherubs recharge their batteries.  Or is it?  I may be just preaching to the choir here, but naptime in my house is anything but relaxing.  Try as I might to get all my ducks in a row, as they say, I can never get my children to go to sleep, stay asleep and leave me the heck alone for just a couple hours during the day.  Our naptime preparation and execution goes a little something like this:

12:00 pm: Lunch time and warning that naptime is imminent.  My two-year-old son replies, “But did I fight?”  Now, I have been known to threaten naptime a time or two (no matter the time of day or night) to get my children to stop fighting or being naughty.  Since my weakness as a parent is not following through with my threats, my son feels the need to clarify his “naughty status” whenever I mention the word “naptime”.

12:15 pm:  Kids are finishing up their nutritious lunch of pretzels and cheese or Fruit Loops and I’m still reminding them of naptime.  Again explaining to my son, “No, you didn’t fight, but you still need to take a nap."

12:30 pm:  I’m at my wits' end trying to keep my youngest son, age eight months, awake and happy in order to maximize his sleep time so it coincides with the other two kids. 

12:32 pm:  I can’t keep the baby up any longer and maintain my sanity at the same time.  In his crib he goes.  I will have to check up on him, return the Nuk to his mouth and snuggle him into his blankie at least two or three times before he actually nods off.

12:45 pm:  Clean up lunch and allow the older boys to watch the last fifteen minutes of their show before putting them down.  Again clarify to two year old that naptime isn’t a punishment….this time anyway!

1:00 pm:  Naptime!!!!!  Comb the house looking for blankies, cups of water and anything else the little darlings want just so they don’t throw a fit and wake up the baby who is already sleeping.  Tuck the last two children into their beds and close their doors.

1:05 pm:  Re-enter two year olds’ room and tell him to stop talking and throwing toys. 

1:07 pm: Five-year-old escapes telling me he’s not tired and wants to watch a movie.  I allow five-year-old to watch movie only if he’s quiet and doesn’t bug me. 

1:10 pm: Tell two-year-old to be quiet and stop throwing toys.

1:15pm:  Open two-year-old's’ door to discipline him yet again -- but am greeted by a fowl smell.  Change two-year-old's poopy diaper and tell him to lie down and go to sleep.

1:20 pm: I sit down, take a deep breath, and open my book to read.  The baby starts crying.

I could describe the next couple hours, but I think you know where this is going.   This is why in my house naptime has nothing to do with naps!